A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago and we're no longer talking. She said a day after breaking up (in an annoyed tone) that she doesn't love me anymore and there's no chance of us ever being in a relationship again. I did nothing wrong, but apparently I broke up with her last year and the love she once had slowly dwindled away ever since then. We saw each other at least 5-6 days in a week until the day we broke up (sounds excessive now that I think about it). I'm hoping maybe she needed space from me and maybe her emotions from the last breakup were still lingering, which is the reason she says the love is not the same. Any ideas of what she might be thinking or what to do? I'm moving on, but that WHAT IF (her saying it was the wrong decision) is slowly eating at me.
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male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (23 March 2011):
Hi - move on from this girl - in my experience breaking up heaps and getting back together rarely works in a relationship - shows that there is underlying issues one or both of you are unwilling to work at or even discuss. If the trust isnt there and the love has gone down, then there's no point in trying to keep it going. Just move on.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 March 2011):
I think this is truly over, and I wouldn't hang around for the 'what if's'.
Face facts. Last year, you broke up with her. Something was wrong then. Now, one year later, you've broken up again. This is the sign that she is not the one for you at all. This relationship is dead and isn't going anywhere at all. I suspect that 6 days you spent together was her trying to find out how she really felt. And now she knows that she doesn't love you and that she is 100% sure there is no chance of you being together again.
When a relationship gets to the point where you are breaking up, then getting back together and then breaking up again, it's simply too flawed to work. Your ex has worked this out, and won't be coming back. And even if she did, you'd just break up again because that's as far as this relationship can go.
Don't waste time waiting for something that fundamentally can't work.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2011): Usually when someone states that they no longer love you, it's done out of anger or simply stating a fact. If it was anger, you'd certainly know the cause of it. Surely it wasn't something that just built up and exploded over the course of a year. So if you did something, relatively recently, to provoke such a response, it's possible she didn't necessarily mean it. If not, well, moving on is a pretty healthy move to make.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2011): Sounds like she is still hurt from the previous break up and pulled away from you so as not to get hurt again. Best thing you can do is move on. She will never fully trust you not to hurt her. Best thing to do is move on. Even if you did get back together again she will unhappy.
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