A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last year, I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months because I felt that he was too clingy and needy, stupid reasons I know, but when he got another gf, I had a freak out. We got back together (kind of) and have been really close, but when we first broke up I began to start liking his younger brother. I still like his younger brother.And the terrible part is, I feel as though Im beginning to like him more than i do the older brother. I feel like Im going to reveal something to one of them soon and something bad will happen. All of my close friends know of my little 'crush' and while some think I should tell the younger brother how I feel others say not to.The friends, (who say I should tell him),think that he will be understanding, but the ones who say otherwise think that it will just make things akward between us.Its hurting my head, please help me!
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female
reader, Battista  +, writes (23 March 2011):
If you are beginning to like the younger brother more then you shouldn't keep stringing your boyfriend along. The fact that you only got back together because he found someone else speaks volumes to me.My advice would be to break it off with your boyfriend first things first. Then if you wanted to tell the younger brother how you feel after this you could do. How he would react, of course we don't know. He might be protective of his brother, or me might reciprocate. Do you know if he likes you at all?
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 March 2011):
Imagine if, in say 10 years time, you like another guy and he finds out that you were seeing one guy, then telling that guy's brother you like him instead.
What do you think this will make him do?
How do think he will perceive you because of it?
Would you date a guy you know went out with a girl, but then told her sister he fancied her instead?
This isn't just about you fancying some guy, I'm afraid. This really is about who you are, how people will perceive you in the future, how two brothers will react to this, and how this will affect your chances of meeting other guys.
I can tell you straight, that in this world of new technology, it's quite easy to find out about someone, and if someone wants to find out about you and discovers that you were playing one brother against another, it will not make you look attractive, it will make you look like a threat.
This whole situation looks really bad for you. You go out with a guy and then dump him for good reason. But, the moment he starts to see someone else, you run back to him and reel him in. Then you decide you liked his brother before and now like him more. Imagine if everyone knew that!? No decent guy would ever want anything to do with you, they'd all run a mile and you'd be left scrapping for what's left.
The right thing to do here is to leave your current boyfriend, who is clearly not the guy for you, and to walk away from his brother too. Because his brother won't be impressed with this behaviour either really.
Walk away from both, focus on your own life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2011): It's a tough position to be in, but there isn't any easy answer to this. If you confess to the brother, it'll invariably cause conflict between them. If you remain silent on the issue, you will be come increasingly unhappy with your current relationship. The best move, in my opinion, would be to end things with brother A, and not to confess your crush to brother B. You'll be unhappy for a short while, but it's a sound resolution to this problem you find yourself in, I think.
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