A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been single for a long time - haven't had a proper relationship in 3 years and throughout that time I dated two guys, nothing serious and this time has affected my confidence when it comes to relationships and fearing that I will be alone forever (sorry for the exaggeration but it feels like it!)The last guy I was involved with was mainly about sex which made me decide that I do not want to have casual sex and not to be used as within my experience sex has been with someone that I am in a relationship with and love. So for a year I have been celibate and still waiting for the right person.I do feel however that after these years, I have become more comfortable with who I am and what I want in life... and most importantly having independence as last year I started university and moved away from home. But now I feel ready for a commitment.Few weeks ago, I met this guy at a house party. We talked a little bit and was cute - however I didn't expect to see or speak to him again until a few weeks ago he randomly sent me a message saying hello etc. I have assumed that this is a good sign? So since then, I have developed a huge crush on him :)I know I need to be more proactive when I'm interested in someone so I sent him a message the other day saying hello how are you just to make my presence known sort of thing.So with this guy, I have been feeling really flattered about this and feel a little bit more confident that I may be attractive to other people. And I'm also wondering how else to pursue this perhaps?Also, have any of you felt hopeless or clueless with relationships and eventually found love sort of thing?Thanks and happy holidays xxxxxx
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celibate, confidence, crush, my ex, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Shadow Rose  +, writes (26 December 2011):
 Answer to your question:Yes, I have. I've been so hopeless, I went into a time of depression, but I did find love. I actually think I found my soulmate :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2011): Hi hun!The fact that he messaged you first is a really good sign; he could well be interested in you. So just keep talking to him and flirting, and definitely be *confident* because everybody loves a woman who feels good about herself, and you have every reason to feel that! Maybe soon you could ask him to meet up somewhere, for coffee perhaps.As for your second question, yes. I'm 18 years old, female, and had my first boyfriend when I was 16 -- he was mostly interested in sex and kept trying to pressure me into stuff I didn't want to do, so we broke up. It really upset me and affected me quite badly at the time. Now I'm with a woman who I love, trust, and who I know respects me and loves me too. So yes, it can happen!Best of luck, and happy holidays to you too. :)xoxo
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