A
male
age
41-50,
*c
writes:my girlfriend broke up with me 1month ago.she say's she is not happy and I am not the one. we have been talking on the phone 3 times a week. We decided to go out we went shopping then dinner then to my house we had oral sex. But she still says she dosn't want a relationship with me . what should I do I love her. she says she loves me too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): Well, this girl is cunning! She is able to disconnect sex with love. Most women cannot. They call these girls SLUTS! WOW, imagine a women that is capable of getting oral sex anytime she wanted it - and still telling the guy after a year that she does not want to commit...move on dude, she never will, sorry! She does not respect you and I doubt she loves you. When someone comes along that she is really interested in, she will dump you and probably have sex with them that night. Good Luck! But for future relationships, it sounds like you need to chill on the pressure you placed on her for sex. SEX IS NOT LOVE!!!
A
male
reader, tc +, writes (30 October 2007):
tc is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe have never had sex only oral . She say that she has to be sure . WE have been going out for 1 year . I have been very frustated with her and been not to nice to her . I have needs. THe oral thing that happen was more my doing and she went along with it . I know she has some problems but I love her .. Maybe thats why she dumped me I don't know .If im not the one then why did it take 1 year for her to tell me.she is 32 and I am 35 . why is this happening to me. I have told her I went on a date and she was asking me all kinds of questions about the new girl like she was jealous but still doesn't want me back .
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A
male
reader, tc +, writes (30 October 2007):
tc is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe have never had sex only oral . She say that she has to be sure . WE have been going out for 1 year . I have been very frustated with her and been not to nice to her . I have needs. THe oral thing that happen was more my doing and she went along with it . I know she has some problems but I love her .. Maybe thats why she dumped me I don't know .If im not the one then why did it take 1 year for her to tell me.she is 32 and I am 35 . why is this happening to me. I have told her I went on a date and she was asking me all kinds of questions about the new girl like she was jealous but still doesn't want me back .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): You talked 3 times a week on the phone, than she said she Love you and than as i assumed that She is not happy with you and you re not the One?
This could be that she simply doesnt love you i.e using for sex ... but it could be something opposite too.
You didnt give ane specific details of ur raletionship, so the easiest way is to conclude that She does not consider you as someone who she would like to be in relationship with.
So move on..
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A
male
reader, Joseph W. South  +, writes (28 October 2007):
 My very simple advice to you: spend time with women who actually like you! There are over 3 billion females on this planet. It's your choice who you spend your time with. Analyze yourself and try to figure out WHY you would even want to be around someone who can so easily disrespect you like this woman has.
The Joseph W. South Show
http://joseph.libsyn.com
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (28 October 2007):
 Starting seeing other girls. She needs to see that other women are into you, to solidify her attraction to you.
Also, make her EARN your commitment. You are giving it too easily, and that is making her doubtful.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, dominicanelly  +, writes (28 October 2007):
well..it sounds to me like she's not in love with you but with your sex. you most likely develpoed an emotional attactment wile she on the other hand develpoed a physical attachment...move on...she's using you...
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): Move on, you cannot force things to happen! She fancies oral sex with you and that was that. If you want someone to have a happy and fulfilling relationship with then it is not going to be her. Let her go and dont go out with her again. Finish it and leave it finish. She is playing with your heart and head so tell her to get lost and move on.
take care
x
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A
female
reader, Vixxy  +, writes (28 October 2007):
 Hiya..
I say you should tell her to keep away from you...give both of you some time.....Having sex with her certainly isn't the way to get her back....You'll just be used and more hurt when she comes back to you saying shes with someone else (maybe!) yet u seem to be pinning it all on the fact she has sex with you...Sex doesnt equal love and it sure doesnt mean someone wants to be with you.
Save yourself some pain and get rid!....You dont need someone like that (nobody does)
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A
female
reader, elliebellie +, writes (28 October 2007):
it sounds like this girl is just using you. if she says shes not happy and youre not the one then you should just leave it. im sorry to day it but having sex is not going to change her feelings about and it sounds like shes almost using you for enjoyment. hope this helps
lol
ellie
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (28 October 2007):
 Hi TC.
well what a position to be in you both love each other,are having a relation, wont commit to you, maybe you should keep your relationship going , she is not totally as yet able to take your relationship any further, i would not rush her on this point, the more you put pressure on her then she will back away.
Give her time, be a great friend to her, keep showing that you still care, but do not keep crowding her, give her plenty of space to move and in time she may come around to your way of thinking, but if she does not then i would keep seeing her and hopefully she may change her mind.
hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, girlwhoneedshelp +, writes (28 October 2007):
 Well if she says that you are not the one she obviously doesn't love you as this is a very hurtful statement. She knows that you still love her and she is using you for sex. Don't fall for it. You are far too good to be used in this way. Although you love her you shouldn't let yourself be used like a puppet on a string, and this is how she is treating you at the minute. You should come straight out with her and ask her what she is doing. If she doesn't love you anymore then you should tell her that you don't want her stringing you along with occasional sex. You should move on and find someone else to love who will love you back and treat you with some respect.
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