A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidsMy boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months, (I pat myself on the back) the relationship has been growing very nicely and we are so in love with each other. He has the best qualities i need from a man and he really knows how to excite me. Our sex life is divine. My problem lately is that I had three fights with him for the same thing, and that really puts me off. When we started this relationship he did mention that he was dating someone 300 miles away and I never went into the detail of asking what happened to the other relationship. He only told me not to worry about it at all. Well we have been getting closer and closer, but i have come to realise that this other woman is still in the script. She has developed a habit of calling him very late at night, and I can see him struggling to talk freely when I am around. Sometimes he will talk very general stuff and I always want to hear if they speak like they are really in love. When that happened the first time I confronted him and he apologised, then I saw the messages in his cellphone and we had another fight.I don't know if im being insecure or paranoid, but the last conversation made me to freak as they spoke for a very long time. I feel like he makes her to be secure so that she can think he is not seeing anyone, by talking freely to her. Now I am worried and I want to break up with him because if he cannot leave this other woman, regardless of the distance, me and him will never go anywhere further. I have put that pass him, that I consider leaving him so that he sorts himself out.If we fought three times already for the same thing, is there hope for such a relationship? I really do not want anyman to take me for granted, that has happened in the past. My reasons for breakups is always men who still dates on the sides.....Am I being rigid in this relationship and what if he apologises and continue to do the same thing? I feel like I have given him enough chance to sort himself out.
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female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (24 October 2007):
 hey,one senctence... if he loves you i think u would be rather enough to make him feel great and not leting some other women in.... so i say leave him..u love him well that is great but don't go back to him until u make 100%sure that he isn't dating anyone cz if he is this relationship is going to a dead end ... so leave him and if he cares so much about u he will do anything in the world to get back with u:D wish u the best good luck bye
A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (24 October 2007):
 Hi
I had a similar situation. My bf ex gf (Who is married and has a child and lives about 450 miles) tried to contact him. Before she tried to contact him he knew that i was the jealous type so we exchanged phones.She tried calling him in the morning and at night (on the phone that i had). Eventually one day she texted him saying she needed to chay to him and i called her and asked her what she wanted from him. She got all defensive and asked me who i am and she told me if she wanted my bf, she would have him! When i told my bf about the manner in which she spoke to me and what she said to me (she was vulgar) he phoned her and told her that he thinks that they shouldnt be in contact any longer as it is causing a problem in his relationship. Maybe you should ask your bf what he wants, it is either you os her. If he says its you, then ask him to stop contact with this other girl as it is upsetting you. I am sure he would like it if you got calls late at night. If this guy really loves you then he would do it to make you happy. I think you should give him one last chance and if he is able to stop their communication then you should leave but try to work things out first. Ex gfs are hard to deal with but hang in there. This girl would soon get the msg.
P.S Did your bf tell this girl about you?
Regards, mail me if you wanna talk
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (24 October 2007):
 Hi,
Get rid of him, he is using you and you are letting him.
Why is he having any contact with her anyway, unless like you say he is still atatched to her in some way.
You say this has happened in the past to you, dont let it happen again. You are worth so, so much more. No lady deserves to be 2nd best (her or you).
XXX
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A
male
reader, xLamentedxAmourx  +, writes (24 October 2007):
 You have given him plenty of time already. If he is going to have someone else on the side, then you need to throw him to the side. Men who do not commit almost always just want sex. He is getting what he wants, right? So try not having sex with him. If he gets angry and leaves, there is your sign. Otherwise, he needs to kick this girl he has and commit. If you fought about it more than once, and he still does it, that is not tolerable to any human being.
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A
male
reader, agonyunclechris +, writes (24 October 2007):
 heya hun x
i think that if you have confronted him then he has been told not to carry on with what he is doing ?
if she rings again , get her number and talk to her
the biggest problem in this circumstance is the male will warn the women that the other one is dangerous so that you will not communicate to each other
he may not be having a relationship , he may be helping her
however do not rule it out
you have asked him not to have this relationship any more
if he persists he is deciving you isnt he ?
as for fighting you
no man should fight a woman , thats not treating you right hun ???
if i was you , i would see if this relationship carries on even tho you have asked him not to
if it does
speak to the lady at the other end
she wont bite your head off she would be glad to know the truth too
he could be leading a double life
if so then the other women would be glad to help you sort him out
if she says nothing is going on
ask her why she keeps ringing so late ?
find out the truth
but if it carries on do you want to be in a relationship builded on ill trust and deceit
is it time to leave ?
love and light hun
¬chris¬
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