A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am currently dating my best friend, we have been on anf off for about a year now. We are together every weekend and we talk on the phone constantly. The problem is he changes his mind about me a lot. I asked him if he was in love with me and he told me that he loves me but that he's not in love with me. At the same time he wants to do everything with me, invites me everywhere and to all his family functions. He has me confused. Am I wasting my time? Keep in mind that he is my best friend and he treats me like a princess. Should I wait it out or should he have fallen in love with me by now?
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female
reader, love-him  +, writes (10 July 2007):
 maybe he's trying to tell you he loves you as a friend, and not as a lover? Talk to him and ask him this.. Mail me if you want to talk x x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): I too am in a relationship with a very good friend who loves me but isn't "in love" with me. Mind you, there's a 17 year age difference between he and I, so it's a bit different.
I accept it that he isn't in love with me, and we have an excellent relationship, I am not looking for a lifetime commitment. If you are looking for a lifetime commitment, then, you may have to move on. Otherwise, enjoy it for what it is: A special relationship that works.
Communication and enjoying each others company and mutual caring is more important than being "in love".
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, JessAgonyAunt +, writes (10 July 2007):
 Hey, he probally means he loves you as a friend? you need to sit down with him and talk to him about how you are feeling, if he can't make up his mind then it can't be love because if he was in love he would know for sure. He treats you like a princess? this shows he loves you very much as a friend. I think if he can't make up his mind whether he loves you or not then you should stay being friends, because it seems like you have a great relationshop!!!
GOOD LUCK
JESS XXXX
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A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT +, writes (10 July 2007):
 Ah honey,
He says he loves you but is not in love with you!!!!
Does he mean he loves you as a friend????
If so sweet stop hurting yourself you deserve someone who will be in love with you just like your in love right now but not getting the same back.....
Maybe he is in love with you but doesn't realise it right now... You need to talk to him tell him you deserve some one who will be in love with you as you deserve this, if he is truely your best friend he will understand and who knows it may actually make him realise that he is in love with you, but for now go out start dating and enjoy it thats what life is about hun, get out there with your friends right now have fun, let ya hair down and you'll be suprised I promise....
Good luck babes
Love Donna xxx
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 July 2007):
 I find it extremely odd that someone can say he loves you, but then he is not in love with you. Maybe linguists can draw a line between the two, in theory, but I wonder how this could be in practice.
I hope I'm wrong on this, but I think he is playing you. You shouldn't allow this. You've been for a year now, and you're no children; so, ask him to behave responsibly with you or else you'll walk away.
You know, I saw a similar case in my own family. A cousin of mine had a girl which he took everywhere, but he didn't love her. He eventually married her, out of interest, when he understood she was his best "option"; but the "best" in the sense that he had tried all the others and failed. So, it's perfectly possible for someone to act like a relationship without any feelings of love.
Take care, dear.
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