A
male
age
41-50,
*c03
writes:My wife and I had a threesome the other night with her ex boyfriend, who is also a friend of mine from high school. The two of them dated right before we got together. He was her first love, and she lost her virginity to him, but they broke up a few months later.A.J. came to our place the other night and long story short the 3 of us ended up in bed together. Ive had 3some fantasys before, and always wondered what it would be like. At first I was excited, but it quickly turned to regret and a feeling of sickness for the following reasons.-A.J. was pretty well hung, much bigger than me which made me feel emberrased.-it seemed like she enjoyed the sex better than she does with me, repeated orgasms, lots of moaning.-Seeing them make out and kiss, having another mans hands all over her made me nervous.He knew all her buttons to push and he really took advantage. He spent the night and the two of them had sex about 4 more times, and it felt like I was just there to watch, I didnt really participate.Next two days have been awkward and we still have not had sex since or talked about it.Any advice or what to say or do would be great.
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broke up, her ex, orgasm, threesome Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009): wow, What a nightmare husband from last poster. I would Not feel loved whatsoever. In cases like these, I wonder if the wife is thinking in the back of her mind, "When I get the courage up, I want to leave him and find a man who only wants me for his own."
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2009): Of course there is a problem. You chose a worst possible person for the threesome. Having a wife, with history, is already a problem. After all it was not you she dated in high school.Your reaction is wrong. The idea behind threesomes (MMF) and gang bangs, is that you enjoy her getting it. Reasons are various, jelousy, psycholigical, power, control, slut factor - many, but unless you are different, we all (hubbies) enjoy when our wife enjoys it. Usually more time she comes the better, and the same with penis size. It has to be big - because for one night all these 'cocks' are your cocks that you give her. Back to your issue:If you felt that you did not want threesomes, and it was an accident - then stop it. She might now go and look for fun elsewhere, but this is a risk you need to take. If she loves you - she will understand you. Did you at least talk about it, ot it just happened?However, if you also wanted it, and still want it, don't change. You will be mixed up now, and will be spitful. You need to hence do it again, but this time with unknowm people. Never let any man whom you know at any social level even talk to your wife. Go for a weekend away, get her two guys ideally well hung, and siply let her be used. Let her love it, and think only of her pussy pleasure (or pain). She cannot have any attachment to the guys, although you should let her flirt her way into their pants to let her 'wind up', but its about cocks not intellect, money etc. ALSO make sure the ground and terms are yours. You are the master of the ceremony. You say when someone fucks her or gets a bj.I hence think that you need to arrange another one, this time with two guys, massively endowed, maybe one coloured guy.Make sure that they (and you too) use her to the limits, be the Master of Ceremony. Watch her take it, enjoy it, cum. After all the reason why you are making the threesome, is for her to come as many times as possible - pure lust.But don't push it. Don't say; you had sex with bob, so now I will make you a town slut. No, say that I saw you enjoy it, and I liked it. Here are two guys whom we may want to experiment with. Make her dress up, tipsy, and role play. Role playing turns into reality and you (and her) will get what you want.Now the problem will be - if she will no longer enjoy it, or will not want to do it. Maybe it was not about sex, but about the b/f.Also, giver her flowers... or a dress. Hubbies, once you see your wife shagged sensleless, kiss them, give them romantic dress. They also go through strange feelings and are worried. Make them feel like a Goddess.Good luck.Shame I am not hear you, I would fuck your wife senseless for you.:). But trust me, you need to push it more now. You must be sure its a cock thing, not a partner thing.
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (26 January 2009):
 You both obviously talked about this for a while before it happened. For some men, the fantasy of seeing their wife with another man is a total turn on but it is just that... A FANTASY! Reality is nearly always very different. The fact you felt sick seeing another man touching your wife is one thing but to know it was her ex and the man who took her virginity is a double blow for you. What on earth made you want to have a 3-some with her ex of all people???
What's done is done and you can't erase that but I would strongly advise you to discuss what happened with your wife and tell her how it made you feel. Until you do this your mind will be in turmoil imagining all sorts of things your wife will be thinking. For her it was probably just lust and sex, something different. You both wanted to try it and you did... for you it wasn't all that for her...? You need to find that out!
From now on set boundaries. You now KNOW this doesn't work for you. Find ways to spice up your own love life without bringing a third party into the equation. Threesomes work for some marriages but not all and definitely (from what you've written) not you. Talk about it openly, discuss it, put it to rest and most importantly, LEARN FROM IT!
~Eve~
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A
male
reader, wellbutrinman  +, writes (26 January 2009):
You have to talk to your wife, explaining to her that she needs to be totally honest with you. Did she enjoy the lusty sex with her ex b/f or is there an emotional bonding? My wife has sex with her male lover for over 8 years. Of course she has developed affection for him, but it doesn't interfere or conflict with the deep lifelong love she and I have for each other. He has a much larger penis and "pushes all the right buttons", bringing her to multiple orgasms. In a typical 2 hour visit, he brings her to 4 or 5 orgasms and he orgasms 3 to 4 times. I don't feel I am competing with him, as I am happy she is experiencing such pleasure. I enjoy making love to her as well between his and her lovemaking or both of us wife her same time. My wife and I feel we are soul mates and we often get comments about how stable and loving our relationship appears to others (it is!) Of course, no others know our secret. Perhaps you can discuss with your wife finding a physically similar guy to her b/f who is looking for a friends with benefits relationship--this way she can stay sexually satisfied and not risk too bonding emotionally with her ex b/f.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): For god sake.. what level has our society reached and what kind of a man are you..I want to kill the guy who thinks badly of my wife or even looks at her in a questioning way. Imagine what would happen if he touches her???. and yet u let another stranger sleep with your woman... is that what being married mean.. get other men to sleep with ur wife??? Guess what pal im a muslim but before that im a human with honour and manners.. I swear man, reading ur problem was about to make me puke.. its just not right, not right... and i know u arent the only one doing that, but it doesnt mean its right because others do it. and that is the truth pal.. my opinion is if that guy comes near u again and asks for another night, is for you to kick his butt. and in case ur wife asks for it, just explain to her that this makes her look like a prostitute in your eyes and if she consists on it then my pal (with all respect) she is one. and my advice for you is to be a man not a fool.
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A
male
reader, django  +, writes (25 January 2009):
Suppose you should tell her you feel terrible about it. Best of luck with this :x.
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A
female
reader, missromantic  +, writes (25 January 2009):
Maybe it would be a good idea to talk about it, tell her how the situation is making you feel. It wasn't really the best idea to pick her ex bf for your threesome.
I don't think there's too much you can do about what happened. You could suggest you'd like to have another threesome, but with another woman this time?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): What a way to realize how much you love your wife. Sheesh. Sounds like your wife DOES like it better with AJ. Now, all you can do is try to get over it, try to please her and hope they don't have more hot sex behind your back. I could tell you that what she felt was lust not love if that'd make you feel better. But I think threesomes are generally for the casual, and definitely him being her first was a set up!
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