A
female
age
26-29,
*ulu_bud
writes:So I have a problem, I'm 14 and and my bf is 16. We had sex and k kind of regret doing it. We agreed and promised eachother that we wouldn't tell anyone that we had sex cause I didn't want to get called and slut and stuff. I found out today that he told one of his friends and there is a rumoir going around that we had sex and i've been denying it. So he broke our promise and everyone in school thinks we had sex because they heard a rumour.. But it's actually true. What should I say to all my friends who ask me about it and more importantly what should I say to my boyfriend? I am upset that he told someone so what should i do?! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 March 2010):
 He's still your boyfriend after he broke his promise? Kick him to the curb, ignore anyone who ask you questions about your private life, and from now on keep a nickel between your knees.
A
female
reader, Yarou  +, writes (4 March 2010):
 Well this is a big problem here i agree.
Im your age and situations like this can happen. you have to tell your bf what you think . ask him why did he tell his friend when he shouldn't have. tell him that the whole school knows about it.
you have to tell the truth and maybe he can help if it was by accident. and dont think about people around you, i don't think they can be better, good luck
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A
female
reader, smitheroon +, writes (4 March 2010):
 This is a good reason why sex is best saved till you're a touch older and in a more solid, mature relationship. But, you've gone and done it. Does that make you bad? No. Does it make your boyfriend bad? No. Is it really that big of a deal? No (as long as you're being safe!!)
First of all, let your boyfriend know he screwed up and then be willing to accept his apology. He is a 16 year old boy after all, it's not surprising that he wanted to share this big event in his life with someone else and he broke your promise. Doesn't make it ok - it's just not shocking news. Second, don't dignify the rumors. You'll learn this when you get older, but here's the thing - sex isn't that big of a deal and everybody else is doing it too. People want to make it a big deal because they obviously have nothing better to talk about.
Treat yourself with dignity and respect. If anyone asks you about it, tell them that sex falls into a private area of your life and it's none of their business. If you can take the high road and learn to create boundaries now, you'll train yourself well for when you get older and worse rumors start flying. Hold your head high!
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