A
male
age
51-59,
*ongstride
writes:My Girlfriend of three months just recently expressed her absolute displeasure and unwillingness to engauge with my fettish for wearing overalls, before and sometimes during sex. Initially she expressed willingness to explore my preference, yet the sudden change has left me split between: 1) Is she just being selfish to consider my needs or 2) Is this something that has to change in order for me to have a successful relationship. What do you think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, boo22  +, writes (4 March 2010):
 Hi, You've only been seeing each other for 3 months. You need to stop mentioning it altogether for a while and concentrate on making her feel good about herself and desired.
If you sow the seed in her head where she starts thinking that her naked body in your bed isn't enough for you after only 3 months I predict disaster.
Concentrate on improving your sex life without the overalls for a while. That's your best bet
A
female
reader, smitheroon +, writes (4 March 2010):
 Here's what I believe about relationships - whoever this is a bigger deal to - that person wins. Is the fetish an absolute necessity? Is it vitally important to you or is it something you could give up? Is she 100% unwilling to participate in this fetish? If this is a bigger deal to her, then she wins this and you're just going to have to get over it. Like the prior answer said, this is your fetish, not her fetish.
I don't know if this is the case, but women often want to focus on intimacy in bed ... not the kink. Especially since this is a new relationship. I think people should be super open in the bedroom, but you guys are very early in a relationship. Give each other some time to get to know each other intimately and maybe in time she'll wear some overalls too. :)
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A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (4 March 2010):
 I wouldn't call her selfish as such, more like she's not interested in your fetishes. The fetishes are *your* fetishes after all, not hers - and although I generally advocate being open minded in the bedroom, people also shouldn't be pushed into doing things they don't want to do.
In short, you can't force her to engage in this fetish. Also, is it only a "once in a while" fetish, or are you asking for it all the time? Because she might be fed up if you keep asking for it, that could get annoying. Perhaps check how you're asking her. If you're nagging at her and you keep on focusing the sex on you and what you want, then that's probably why she's clammed up. (I'm not saying you are nagging, I'm just thinking of possibilities here).
Some people just can't be changed. If you can't convince her, then ask if you can partake in any of her fetishes. She may be more willing then.
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