A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My wife lost are baby a year ago and is now 2 months pregnant with another child im worried about her. She is not letting me touch her and is in bed all the time she is letting it take over her life. I want to hold her i knwo she is scared i just wanna be there for her. I dont really want this baby i and i told her that but she got angry and wont let me near her. I dont feel i am ready for a baby and i want her to get a abortion i want her to talk to me and agree with me. How can i help her and help myself and the same time. We got married young its all going so fast plz help !!!!!!!!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): eyeswideopen is right. But she just lost a baby previously that she obviously dearly wanted. She grieved for that child of miscarriage. Where is your sympathy for her awful loss? Nonexistent. Instead, you are pressuring her to get an abortion because YOU don't want a baby. You are asking her to kill the child she wants, after tragically losing the first child she wanted. Put it in perspective. If you were her, would you do as your husband wanted - a man who had not carried that baby, did not suffer the pain of miscarrying that first child, and does not understand how fragile and delicate she is?Of course she doesn't want you touching her. She's in mourning for the baby that she miscarried! She's TERRIFIED that she will lose this second, most beloved baby! And here you are, insensitively demanding she kill that wanted baby, because you're horny?No one is ever ready to be a parent, but the real ones step up to the plate and do their best by their baby. You can't make her have a termination. In the end, it is her decision, not yours, because she will carry the baby and she will give birth in painful hours of labour, and bear the brunt of responsibility for that baby. You can't change that. If you can't handle it, leave now, she deserves better.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 April 2008):
 You should not have got married in the first place.
Why did you marry? You should have bailed out.
You should act like a responsible ,rational and matured husband to your wife.
This is the time when she needs the most support and yet you are doing the opposite.
You will never feel ready for anything.
Get rid of this mentality.
Life is full of challenges.
You cannot avoid them .
For some , they will have to grow up faster .
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (24 April 2008):
 Hi
I was going to answer, then saw what eyeswideopen had put, and thats basically what i was about to say, so no point in you reading it twice!
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (24 April 2008):
 For crying out loud Dude! You lost one baby and made another, if you didn't want children then you should have been using birth control. Plus this decision to have children should have been thoroughly discussed between your wife and yourself. Since it's all water under the bridge at this point, I guess you just have to step up to the plate. Your wife is scared of losing another baby so you need to be as supportive as you can. You've got seven months to get your act together and prepare yourself for fatherhood. Quit the whining and be a man. By the way I don't think anybody is ever really ready to be a parent it's a "fly by the seat of your pants" kind of experience.
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A
male
reader, salvation +, writes (24 April 2008):
every new parent gets sacred at first and because you married young your feeling it even more but know that she is sacred too a baby is a wonderfull thing in a strong relationship based on love and trust you need to get over your feel and welcome the baby
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