A
male
age
41-50,
*kurie
writes: I am a 25 year old male living with my very attractive 30 year old female cousin who I am very attracted to. We have much in common. She often brags about how sexy or alike we are but I am not sure if her intrest is sexual. Whats the best way to let her know I'm attracted to her? I'd really like to know, thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2007): 'Kissin Kousins', the famous Elvis presley movie a few years back.
I think everyone is being a bit hard on you mate, a bit of empathy and understanding wouldn't go amiss. This forum is supposed to offer support and advice.
Cousins can be appealing, have stuff in common simply because you are from similar blood lines and perhaps probably had similar upbringings from previous generation siblings. Thats what should make spending time with them fun, enjoyable and relaxing - nothing wrong with that at all!
Sounds to me like she is flirting with you a bit, which she should be careful about. In my experience women aged 28+ who are single tend to become really worried about losing their looks, so look for compliments and appreciation more. You qualify to give that in that you are Male and are 5 years younger.
It is not illegal to marry a cousin in the UK, so you wouldn't be breaking the law if something did flourish. However all the rest of the posts are likely correct with the amount of hassle both of you would get from this.
We don't have control over who we have feelings for but we can control our actions as a consequence of it. And even if she did reciprocate your feelings and you did have a good few romps, how would you feel after it, a few days later, a few weeks later....The worry and concern about what you had done would eventually sink in and issues would start to arise. Sex is very short term, but the consquences of it can last forever.
A
female
reader, Gwyneth +, writes (2 March 2007):
 I think we all have fantasies about the "forbidden" fruit, and I see nothing wrong with that. However, pursuing your cousin, a woman who it sounds like you have a close friendship with, is probably not the best idea. There are lots of ways to release our hidden feelings that don't involve telling the other person (who probably doesn't share your feelings, but I can't say for sure). I would recommend keeping a diary of your thoughts, watching some good films dealing with similar themes, reading books or writing poems dealing with hidden love. Or, go out and get together with a new girl and have some fun and fuggetaboutit for awhile!
Bon chance!
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A
female
reader, sugabean  +, writes (1 March 2007):
INCEST. that is just not right.
Pray about it. You are probably very lonely and she is close to you. Girls think very differently she actually probably takes you as a best friend.
Plant that one on her you will probably not only walk away alone (without her and the closness) but mainly a huge clup in the face!!!!
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A
female
reader, Debs85  +, writes (1 March 2007):
this is a very tricky road to go down firstly because if you make your feelings known to her and she does not recipricate then it could have a huge affect on your relationship Secondly whatever happens it is going to affect your families. you need to consider whether or not this is lust, the want for something that is wrong or whether or not you truly love her.
personally if i was in your position i would forget all about it because if you go after her no matter what the outcome you are very likely to create some damage. maybe get out and play the field and you might realise that it was just lust
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007): Thinking about your cousin is soooo very very very very very very very wrong!!!!!!! stop thinking about her like that and find someone new n stop thinking aobut her like that!!
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A
female
reader, SusieQ1970 +, writes (1 March 2007):
Dating your Cousin could potentially cause real problems. Some would say that the blood link is too close and its practically incest. You need to ask yourself how serious you are, do you see your Cousin as potential relationship material on a long term basis. If this is the case then you really need to think about what you are doing, how will your families view this, do you think they would approve. If you reveal your true feelings to her and she rejects them will it damage your friendship?
If you still feel the way you do then stop viewing her as your Cousin and look upon her as you would any other woman who catches your attention.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (1 March 2007):
 First of all, she is your cousin. That is so wrong. . . no matter how attractive she is. If you can't get your mind off of her sexually, your best bet is to find a new roomy.
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