A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i've known this guy for 3/4 months and we are in love with each other and would do anything for each other. But there is only one problem. we met on the internet and we live so far away. were in the same country but about 10 hours away from one another. We both feel that this relationship would be completely amazing and last so long, we have got so much in common and always phone, text and email each other. i just wanted to ask all you guys if meeting this guy would be good, and also, if we do get together, if my parents found out i met this guy on the internet, i don't know what would happen and i don't really want to chance it! i've never felt like this really, it seems weird being in love over the internet ect. but i want him so much, he is the most caring person in the world, we always talk about our future and that.i just need some advice about it really, hope you can help :)S-J xx
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female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (11 November 2009):
 Well like I said, get the parents talking. When two pairs of over protective parents talk, they tend to chill out when they find out the other person have caring parents who also just want the best. My first date with a guy was supervised by my parents and his. Its also a sign of respect towards your parents in regards to letting them in. You give a little to get a little in this world hun.
HonningKanin
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI met him on a social website 'Tagged' And I have seen him on webcam and he has seen me on webcam, so we know where both real. My parents are, quite protective of me, well my dad is. When he found out i was going out with someone at my school.. he was abit weird for a few days, but then calmed down and was really happy to meet him.
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A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (10 November 2009):
 Hi, having been in a situation very similar to yours when I was about your age, I hope you don't just disregard my advice.
I know it feels like telling your parents would be the end of any chance of a relationship - theyd freak out and forbid you from talking to him, right? Honestly, that is almost definitely not going to be the case. Most parents recognise that they cant control who their sons/daughters socialise with; all they can do is try to guide you, and ensure that any relationship is as safe as possible. You must be able to see why this kind of relationship would scare them; trust me, online grooming does happen. Don't assume it couldnt happen to you. But, as long as your parents know, you can set up a safe meeting with this boy - in a public place, which your parents can take you to, and his parents and yours can meet. More importantly, on the offchance that things arent as they seem, you will be protected. I know it probably isnt how you planned the first time youd meet him; nobody wants that sort of thing to be watched by their parents. But I hope you recognise that in your situation, that is just the most intelligent thing to do. Taking your friends might sound like a good idea, but if this guy is in fact a danger you might just be leading you and your friends into a dangerous situation which you wouldn't be able to handle.
Please, please tell your parents about all this. I am not saying that I think this guy IS a sexual predator, but is it really worth taking the chance?
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin +, writes (10 November 2009):
Ok, what exactly would you have to lose by letting your parents know? I am assuming that even if the relationship were to progress he would have to meet your parents at some stage. Are you worried they will dissapprove because of how you two met and would restrict you from going?
Though I dislike the concept and the idea of not informing your parents, having atleast 2 friends with you and meeting in an open public place is an option. But again really dumb if something were to go wrong. How would your parents know where you are? I am not just talking about him doing something to you, I am like talking accident and what not seeing as he lives that far off from you.
Ok, so he says he is 16. That seems decent and ok. Have you webcamed him at all? I know you have talked to him on the phone, but voices can be morphed or the person can just sound young.
Personally I would reccommend having his mother calling your mother. Nothing breaks the nerves of an over protective parents like the concerns of another over protective parent.
HonningKanin
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (10 November 2009):
 I agree with HonningKanin and you do have to provide some followup information for us. How old you are and how old he is, because that does indeed matter.
I think a guy who is sincere about getting to know you and wanting a future with you would want to be on the good side of your parents, and so would want to meet them. I think it's weird that he hasn't brought that up and that you want to hide this relationship from your parents. That seems very immature to me; it's what a young teenager with no common sense would do.
Someone with common sense would be very cautious about interacting with people on the internet; some people are not who they say they are. There are people out there who want to take your money, others want dirty pictures from girls, still others want to have sex with underage teens.
Have you ever watched a show called "To Catch a Predator"? It's filled with guys who have lied to a teenage girl (or who they thought was a teenage girl) about themselves because they want to have sex with her. They show up and they are old and fat and bald and frankly look smelly and I'm sure they are not what the girl would have been expecting at all.
Have a look. It's very eye-opening! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10912603/
So how did you meet him and how did you come to feel this much for him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's 16 and I'm 15.
His mum knows about me, but my parents don't know about him, and i don't want them to know i met him on the internet. I would say that he was my mates friend. I have thought about taking my friends with me when i go and meet him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionErm.. What? haha.
I'm 15 and he's 16.
Yeah, the thing is, his mum knows about me, his dad doesnt (because him and his dad had a rather large fall out). And i don't want any of my parents knowing that i met him on the internet because that would make me life worse.
My friends have sugested that they would come with me to meet him and make sure eveythings okayy.
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin +, writes (10 November 2009):
I have a question you neglected to post up. How old is he?Personally, I am not about to knock you for feeling as though you have fallen in love on the internet because I know I did. And I am not about to knock you by saying what you are feeling is not love. And above all I am not about to knock you for falling for someone in 3 to 4 months because love has no time limit. Some go slow and some go fast. I just would like to know your age and his age.On this format, at worst you are 13 and at best you are 15. I wonder how old this other person is because of something that adult predators call "grooming." Grooming is the systematic building of trust and breaking down of walls with a touch of alterior motive. We hear about this far too often in the news and it actually happens more often IRL than a computer. Its just easier on the computer. If he is your age on the other hand, just ask your mother to accompany you to meet him along with his parents and to meet him in a public place.HonningKaninHonningKanin
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