A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19, a freshman in college and I'm five weeks pregnant. I know who the father is because he's the only one I've ever had sex with (he's 18 and still in high school), but I honestly don't want this kid and I definitely know he wouldn't, either. He doesn't know I'm pregnant, though. But neither of us are ready for this and we used a condom! I have a tight budget and I'm scared out of my wits! Anyone out there who can give me some advice here?
View related questions:
condom Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): I know someone who went through the exact situation you're in, same age and everything. She's 29 now and has a wonderful son. She's happy, but sometimes has regrets about her past. Because she had a kid at such a young age she couldn't go to school, she was too busy working full time and taking care of this kid on her own (her bf didn't want to have anything to do with her or the baby). Because of this she missed out on a lot of the opportunities she had when she was young. She couldn't go to college and get an education, and now she's stuck working in the same entry-level job for the rest of her life.
There's a time and a place for everything. Right now you need to focus on yourself and your own life, so that in the future you can have the resources to bring up a child in the best environment possible. Kids will come sooner or later. But you may never again have the opportunities you have now (being in college, being young, and having infinite possibilities).
I might not be so insistent if you were not in college, and had been careless. But you were doing what you could to prevent this. The condom breaking isn't your fault or your boyfriend's. So don't let it affect the rest of your life. Having a kid at this age will tie you down, especially if neither one of you is ready for it.
A
female
reader, blackroses2989 +, writes (29 December 2008):
 I understand every person should have a chace to live, but I also believe that the parents should too. Some people, just aren't ready to have a baby. I don't mean keeping it, I mean the actual pregnancy. You're young and have plenty of years to have a baby and not to mention, if you are in school ( especially a 4 yr) then its really hard to physically have a baby, you may even have to drop out. I don't want to discourage you from considering adoption. It's a wonderful thing, and many of my friends have adopted babies that they just love.( and whom I love too) I just want you to be able to decide on your own. Not other ppls belief's, but facts. Not anyone's belief's but your own. I hope this helps for what its worth.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): I believe every human developing in the womb should have the opportunity to live, and live well, and in doing so have the same opportunity that millions of other people have. THe chance to let a grape popsicle melt down your chin. The chance to breath in the smell of a fresh 24 count Crayola crayon box. If you don't want him/her, some other infertile and barren woman with a husband and suburban home would die for the chance to take him/her in. FAMILY: ForgetAboutMeILoveYou...
...............................
A
female
reader, littlemissalf123 +, writes (29 December 2008):
 Well with the option of abortion you will always be left wondering from time to time "Would I have had a son or daughter write now?" "Would he or she have eyes the same color as mine?" Then you'll remember "I guess I'll never know."
...............................
A
female
reader, blackroses2989 +, writes (29 December 2008):
Hi honey! I know your most likely freaked out and scared, but calm down and try to think about options. There are basically two options, to have the baby and give it up for adoption, or to have an abortion. While I'm not sure of your beliefs here are some facts about each option. With adoption, it goes without saying you will carry this baby to term. You will have ot plan your meals around the baby's development. You can stay in school until you reach 8 - 9 months, depending on your prenancy. ( unless your doctor suggests otherwise) Then you need to find a family for the baby or you can go through an adoption agency that will help find the baby a new home. There are many people who cant have children and would gladly adopt a brand new baby. While this is a longer process than having an abortion, it would make a couple/someoe very happy. As for another option, abortion, you will have to make an apointment at a planned parenthood or you can go through your medical insurance and find/ go to your own doctor. The doctors/ medical assistants will give you a local anesthetic, so you dont feel too much pain, though I believe you will still feel pressure. After the abortion, you may feel groggy, perhaps depressed, and well it wont be the most comfortable feeling in the world either. You will have some "break throught bleeding" although its not really break through bleeding because its due to the abortion. While some can bleed for about 3 days to a week, this bleeding can sometimes last up to three weeks. It starts out heavy and should go light after about 3 days to a week. You will need to take it easy for the next 3 days after the abortion, and should be yourself in 1 to 2 weeks if not five days. Abortions can also effect you emotionally so make sure you have some one with you who really cares about you, it wont be easy, that type of thing never is, then again neither is adoption. All in all its your choice to determine what to do. I wish you all the luck in the world. Accidentscan happen even with condoms, you may want to talk to your doctor about birht control ( or you can get it at planned parenthood) if not, then why not see if you can get some spermicide, and look into the "plan B" pill just to make sure. Good luck!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): CONSIDER ADOPTION.
you made the decision, now you have to live with it.
life won't bail you out, and abortion often has detrimental psychological effects. think about it, please.
...............................
A
female
reader, the1st1 +, writes (29 December 2008):
there are a few ways you can take care of this. 1 would be abortion, which i dont believe is the right thing to do, bc that would be killing an innocent child that didnt ask for this. 2 would be to talk to some people and you can look online, for someone that is wanting to adopt. let someone that you think is right and will take care of your child have him/her. or in some states, you can leave your baby at the emergency room, no questions asked, and they will take care of it. but i think the adoption one is a better choice because you have more control without (in my words) murdering a child.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): go to planned parenthood.. abortions are free there most of the time as long as you explain ur situation. if not free they are pretty cheap.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): theres pretty much only one option get an abortion. dont go on thinking o no thats so wrong your murdering a child. thats not true or it would be illegal. legally specking it is not considered a child until it is born or it an breath on its own around 7 months. you can get an abortion without your parents concent because your not a minor and doesnt cost that much.
...............................
|
