A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hey...I'm a sixteen year old girl, and I have got a big problem. At about this time last year, I met a guy who was in the year above me at school, but whom I hadn't noticed before. When I got talking to him I liked him straight away, he seemed so sweet and so romantic, said I was pretty etc. I really wanted to get to know him. I basically fell in love with him. Even till this day my heart aches with love for him. Anyway, being naive at only 15, I made a mistake. When he sent me an sms for the first time, I started texting dirty to him, cos I thought that would make him like me more. We ended up having text sex. However I feel that this definitely cheapened things. A week later he broke it off with me. I spent the rest of the year trying to get his attention while he went round and insulted me behind my back as he thought I had been telling people I had been having sex with him, which I hadn't.Then things calmed down a bit, he stopped insulting me and would stare at me whenever we passed each other in the school corridors. Now that he has left school, he has been texting me dirty messages and nude photos of himself, and I stupidly texted him back with the things he wanted to hear, ie dirty things. He now wants to have sex with me.I cry myself to sleep every night because I truly am in love with him, but all he can do is step on my feelings. I don't just want sex. I want to be with him, but he does not want a relationship. I know I can't force him to have a relationship with me, but how do I show him that I'm not really the kind of girl to just have sex, that I too have a personality? Tthat I want respect? Sorry for making this long. I hope someone can help. I am really unhappy.Thanks very very much
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female
reader, porshia  +, writes (29 August 2008):
im feeling u cause im going through almost the same thing the only advise that i can give you i s to follow ya heart. Im only 18 and ma mom told me that men are here for seasons and some are here for a life time she told me to never settle ur self short wait for the rite one. You still young u dont have to fall in love fast thats just mess things up for you and u will be heart broken and when u find the rite person you will find it hard to fall in love quick with that perso just take it slow everything will fall the way ti should if you just take it slow
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007): me and me friend are having a girlie night in and needed help on a text msg, so we used google and found this website and your story.
Baically we think your way to good for him, dont put yourself in a situation where u feel made to have sex with him. If he liked you and truely respected you then he would be happy to do what you wanted- hes not worth it, one day the right guy will come along and you'll be like " what was i thinking?!" xxxxxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2005): Dear, please salvage your self-respect by ending all thought of having a decent, respectable relationship with this jerk, and end it now. Can't you see what's going on? You were used and manipulated by this guy. For him to go behind your back and slander your reputation should tell you, he's a guy with low, slimey character traits. Why would you even 'like' this guy who has shown such disdain & disrespect for you.
You need to learn how special you are as a person and gain some self-esteem, some value for yourself and get the backbone to get thoughts of this guy out of your mind once and for all. Remember, self esteem is related to your self worth and building self esteem is a first step towards your happiness and a better life. Self esteem increases your confidence. If you have confidence you will respect yourself. If you respect yourself you can respect others, and expect respect from others. Image is to do with how people perceive you and this will affect how they relate to you. It will affect your relationships either positively or negatively. Your first mistake was 'texting dirty' to him...that told him you weren't worthy and he made the choice to just use you to get his cheap thrills.
He was very wrong to do this...and you were very naive to allow this to even begin.
Forget this guy-he does not respect you. The damage has been done-he'll likely not respect you, Get over him and Go find another boy your age who treats you like you should be treated, with respect. This other guy isn't worth it. Be strong and start getting your own self respect back and no more dirty text messaging with boys!
Take care, dear
Hugs, Irish
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A
reader, helpfull girl +, writes (28 August 2005):
hi, you want to know the way to show him you have a personalitie 2! then in that case DONT SLEEP WITH HIM! as he has left school things will get easier for you try to avoid seeing him that will also make things easier, by the sounds of it all this person wants is sex sex and more sex! If you should give it him he is only going to hurt you more by sleeping with you then moveing on to the next girl! with a man you should always play hard to get so i think, that way if they chase you they really do care! if they dont sex was on their mind thats all! If he is not ready 4 a ralationship hes basically trying to tell you he wants to use you! never let a man drag you down to useing you! your young and beleive me their is indeed plenty more respectable men out there! i use to be just like this get totally hucked on a boy then spend ages crying when all they really wanted was sex my mistake was i gave it to them, after that i got stronger and played hard to get! then a man much older than me chased me 4 1yr i gave in&we are still 2gether 9 yrs after and we still love each other! trust the voice of expereince make men chase you! thats true love! your in a stage of crush on him!
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A
male
reader, smartoldman +, writes (28 August 2005):
no your not in love with him. your in love with the idea that someone talks to you in the language you enjoy talking in. dirty sex talk. you need to tell him you lied and your not that type of girl who is looking for JUST sex. you are looking for a friend who might become your boyfriend. no sex until the relationship is solid. he probably will not believe you. but at least you told him the truth
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