A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What do you do when your boyfriend of 2 years isn't sure if he loves you or wants to be with you anymore? I'm heartbroken, but I'm still holding on to him, to a future we promised together. He says he just needs time to find himself, but I have a sinking feeling he's not coming back. I'm trying to wait, but for a 50/50 chance it doesn't seem fair. Please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): oh gosh "i need time to find myself" is the biggest red flag you could hope to receive. he may be a great guy, nice to you, treat you well and all that stuff. but if he is wanting to slow down the relationship because he "needs to find himself" well you just gotta let him go and let him do that. he'll come back when he's ready- if he figures it out. but it's not figured out now, and so the more time you wait on him, the more confused and miserable you could become. tell him "good for you! find yourself" i mean really- think about this- who wants to be with someone who really doesn't know who they are?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007): my exboyfriend broke up with me recently and cited the same reason; he doesn't feel romantic feelings for me anymore. if you guys had a good friendship, then i suggest trying to keep it if you do break up, but you definately need to take some time away from him. guys like to keep everything in until the last moment so sometimes it feels like they sprung up the fact that they aren't happy with you, but when you look back you should see the signs like they don't show you the affection they did even a couple monthes ago. make sure you don't get your hopes up too high about your relationship, but he could always end up leaving you heartbroken and it hurts the worst when you had so much hope. good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2007): hey bbz. i have kinda had this b4 wen me & my boyfriend argue he sez he dont know if he loves me anymore n it hurts like mad but he only says it in the moment. me and my boyfriend have been together 16 month i just gota say its one of the hardest things in the world but if u love someone u gota let them go if he loves you and wants u he will come bk dont hold on to something that u/him is unsure off it'l jus cause more pain bby b strong and take care yeah. u will get what you deserve angel. xoxox
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): I was actually in a similar situation when I was about your age. My boyfriend told me he straight up didnt love me anymore. He didnt feel the same as he once did, but he wasnt ready to give up on us just yet. We were going to different colleges so we decided to stay together but still do our own thing. After about a month or so, he came to me and told me that he realized he was just going through a change but had realized that he did in fact love me and wanted us to really be together. I was able to give him the freedom he needed, but also took that time to examine what i really wanted about the relationship. I would suggest taking this time to figure out what you really want. Odds are, he does want to be with you, he is just going through a change in his life and is confused. Give him his space and he will comne back to you. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, lari8  +, writes (1 July 2007):
Im so sorry, love- It is probably the worst feeling in the world when someone tells you straight that they dont love you anymore.But, this can be turned to your advantage....ask yourself this, was your relationship really happy or was it not unhappy??? two years is a long time when you are in your teens/early 20's and he probably feels as if hes missing out. To have told you his feelings to your face takes courage- at least he isnt doing things behind your back!Let go and let him find himself, and remember the person you were when you got together- that is who he fell in love with and if he sees that, maybe he will realise what hes giving up.... x
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (1 July 2007):
 Hia babe, 2 years is a hell of a long time.. people change.. people grow out of love (people sy it isnt true but it is) and some people just miss the single life.. some even get bored.. let him think for a while.. he needs his time and space.. but if he decides he doesnt want to be with you.. then you will have 2 respect that.. i know it will be hard, but you gotta hang in there chick. mail me if u wanna talk x x x x
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A
female
reader, yellowdaffodil +, writes (1 July 2007):
Hi
You are young. Enjoy it. Make a promise to not marry till 25 years of age. When your are 25, reasses your life. You may find that you may not want to get married till you are 30. By the way, if he isn't sure after 2 years, he doesn't love you in the way you want to be loved.
Move on girlfriend.
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