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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I told my boyfriend i was sexually abused as a child one night when we were both drunk... he was so upset over it i actually saw him cry and i took comfort in getting it off my chest... however sometimes i feel very isolated and upset, and want to talk to someone about it... he dosnt seem to care... he dosnt seem to want to hear about it and it makes me feel even worse because i think he may even think i was telling a lie to get him closer to me.... i love him and i wanted him to know everything about me so that h really knew who he was geting onvolved with, and to explain certain things.... i react a cetain way to certain things... sometimes i freak out because i don't trust very many people....he cheated on me and i was crushed (this was before i told him anything) because i trusted him so much... what do i do?? hes nearly ten years older than me though, and very focused on his job and on money for a home... Am i bothering him? i sometimes get panic attacks, sometimes i cry at night and he dosnt come over to comfort me.... even though i thought it was obvious why i get upset like that.... maybe it wasnt?I love him with all my heart and i just want him to understand me...please let me know what you think.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): Firstly you got to realise how brave you've been in starting to talk about this. It's difficult for your boyfriend because he's probably never been in this situation before and dosen't know how to handle it. I'm so angry that somebody hurt you, and I think your boyfreind probably is too. It's hard to know how to deal with this, because it's not clear what's the best thing to do. You want to talk and talk, to be held and cuddled, whilst the poster below prefers to forget, and move on. He's probably trying to help you do the later. You really need to see a professional counsellor to deal with this if your having panic attacks and night terrors. Tell your boyfriend what you need, ask him if he mind if you talk about it. He can't cure you, he can only help. You need to spend time with a counsellor to explore your feelings and move on from this. You boyfriend should remain your boyfriend and not your doctor Good luck, I wish you well.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): I know how it feels to be sexually abused as a child. I'm not going into details but my life did change a lot when it happened.
When I told people they thought I made it up which really hurt but I think they do it so it doesn't ruin their day. I told my boyfriend when I was ready and he was bothered at first but he didn't support me as much as I wanted him to. He told me why and said that it was because he didn't want it to ruin our relationship and to help me stop thinking about and help me get over it.
I think deep down he is truly bothered but it upsets him if you mention it because he probably loves you.
I don't talk about what happened to me as a child anymore. It's better to just keep your head up and forget it. You're probably a much stronger and wiser person now so don't let it drag you down forever.
Hope I've helped
xxxxx
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