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female
,
*unkyfeline
writes: My long term boyfriend and I (6 years since the age of 15) have grown up together, but it has been easy as we have always shared the same morals and values. One of these values was a strictly anti drugs stance. When our friends first started on weed, it just reinforced my 'no to drugs' attitude, however my boyfriend decided to smoke it. Although it crushed me. I let him get on with it as he was good about it (he never lied to me and never did it when i was there) he promiced that he wasnt interested in any other drugs.However, i have just found out that he has been in to ecstacy. I am sad that our lives have taken different turns and although i am very welcome, i dont want to go out with him and his mates anymore just to hang about with a load of people on drugs.I dont know how to react to this at all. We have always had a very relaxed relationship because we love and trust each other. I dont want to stop him doing what he wants, but i find this very sadening.Please help.
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female
reader, funkyfeline +, writes (2 December 2006):
funkyfeline is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni am very anti drug.
he isnt taking them all the time, as he dosent go out that often, and he has only just started to take them due to his new set of friends (which dissapoints me because it makes me think him weak and suseptable) There is little doubt in my mind that he is going to try something else eventually.
Although the drug taking dosent impact directly on me, he now discorages me to come out with him and his friends (so he can take them) and im worried about him now when he goes out.
if i were to be dating now, i would look for someone anti drugs.
Its too confusing :(
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (2 December 2006):
Difficult. You have been together for a relatively long time at your age. When you got together you were both anti-drugs. It's not about you telling him how to live his life - his values have changed over time and yours haven't. You said he is disappointing you. Have his friends changed, does he have new friends, do you think this will get worse? Does his drug-taking impact on your relationship - does he let you down at times, is he late or unreliable, does he have less money etc? These would be signs that the drugs are more important then you. Occasional dabbling isn't such a problem generally but it depends how you feel about it - it's your relationship too.
Can you continue to be in a relationship with him? I really don't know what to advise as it's up to you and how strongly you feel.
There are drug awareness websites which should be able to give you good advice. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, funkyfeline +, writes (2 December 2006):
funkyfeline is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have spoken to him, he knows that i hate it and he understands that but he was so rational with his reasonings behind it that i didnt know what to say. I have now been sitting here upset about it for days, but is it fair for me to stop him doing it?? Am I overreacting? I dont want to stop him living his life, but i cant help but be dissapointed now everytime i think about it.
Should i just try my best to ignore it? What if he tries something else?
I dont know!?
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A
female
reader, lonleyheart +, writes (1 December 2006):
 ell i think you should talk to hin and tell him how u feel about this all drug thing talkin it out might help him see what he is doin is wrong and he is upsettin u by doin this ad if he does love u he will stop just for u
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