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female
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anonymous
writes: I hate myself for this, and you're going to hate me too, but I need help so I'm posting it anyway. I own a cat and a dog, and sometimes I'm just evil towards them. I don't know why I do it, and every time a get a new pet I promise myself that I'll never treat it cruelly, but I always do it at some point. I've had my dog for 7 years and when she was young i did cruel things a lot. I'd give examples, but I'm too ashamed, but they were really horrible. Now with her I'm only cruel when she's done something wrong and she needs punishment, but even then I know I take it too far. I've had my cat for about 4 weeks and he's only young, I'm really worried I'm going to do him some serious damage. Please note that 99% of the time I treat these animals beautifully, I just sometimes get into this wierd mood where I'm not really thinking and I just do it, and I feel so bad afterwards. What can I do to control this? Please don't leave me abusive posts, it's hard enough admitting to this as it is. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2014): Hi there.
Your question was posted several years ago, so I don't know where you're at in your life right now. I hope that your 'problem' with animals is getting better but if it isn't, I just wanted to say that I have the same problem.
I love my kitten but sometimes I am just straight up mean to him. After I am mean I want to kick myself in the ass for doing what I do, but I started to realize that if I want to get better, then I need to seek help. If you still have your problem with the animals, then I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone and that it was the best choice to ask for help! I would definitely suggest going to see someone, as many times, anger towards innocent creatures can sometimes be linked to something that you experienced nj the past. I know that's the way it was for me. Anyways, best of luck, contact me if you have any more questions/ need someone to talk to about it. By the way, you probably can't tell by the screen name, but I am a female. So I kind of identity what you went through/going through more. :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): you need serious help. urgently. hope you have made the effort to get yourself some. even reading this made me feel sick at the thought. animals are innocents, and always always look to you - their carer - with trust and for care. they love unconditionally. you should know yourself well enough to never have an animal. hope you have had them rehomed.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007): "Maybe you just shouldn't have pets. If you really wanna beat an animal for a while, go for rats. No one cares if you beat those sick things for a while. Or bugs. They probably dont even feel pain so you're ok, plus the ugly factor would stop you feeling bad about it afterwards. But definitely dont whack cats and dogs. I really dont think you should keep those."
Oh my god. I can't believe someone would write such BS.
Rats do feel pain, as they are mammals and have highly developed nervous systems. And they're certainly not "ugly", they are rather cute (cuteness is a matter of opinion anyway and is irrelevant).
No, it's still wrong to beat rats, or any other animal for fun. I think you should go and seek some help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006): Well done for writing and admitting you have a problem. That take's some real gut's.
One of the thing's I hate most is animal cruelty but the ONE thing that I hate the most is the people that commit thing's like this against animal's because it's not fair. However on this occasion is seem's like you really do have a problem and for the animal's sake alone I reply and also I thank you for giving people a chance to help you.
An animal should be respected and looked after 100% of the time 99% is not good enough.
I'd first of all write a list of the thing's that make you mad that your pets do and then next to each one put a tick for the one's you can ajust. For example a puppy peeing on the carpet - that certainly shouldn't be tollerated but it should be dealt with in a way which is fair to both you and the animal.
The one's you've put a cross by, I suggest finding a better way to manage your anger eg; taking a ten minute breather outside in the garden. That's always a winner!
It sound's like you have a few pet's and maybe you should concentrate on the one's you have at the moment rather than getting new one's.
Work on building your relationship with those pet's and spending quality time with them, the more you start to love them, the more your mind will be tricked out of doing thing's for them instead of hurting them.
One thing is for certain that the right thing would to not have any more pet's while you still have this problem.
Do it for the animal's.
Anon 13, London.
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female
reader, sinner3mlt +, writes (6 December 2006):
I also have had issues such as this. I have been unusualy mean for no apparent reason. I do not believe in animal cruelty, I could never starve, beat or torture animals. I guess I just dont have it in me to love animals. I believe the reason for me is that I was raised on a farm growing up and my family is in the meat business so growing up I watched countless numbers of animals slaughtered. I also showed animals for the county fair and I became really attached to them and after the fair the animals are sold. The most difficult thing was that my grandparents would buy my livestock at the sales. Then since my family are butchers and we have alot of land all the animals were rounded up and hauled away to be slaughtered, at my house! So my animals were butchered in my backyard practicly. After this I guess you could say I became numb. I just cant seem to find it in me to love animals. I dont know your story and your background, but there must be somthing that happenend at some point in your life that made you resent animals or incapable of loving them. I can understand on a level of your feelings about pets. The way I resolved this was to just not have pets. Somtimes we cant understand the reasons behind our random acts of cruelty, so in this case, I would recommend that you find a home for these animals fast because no animal deserves to be abused, it is not fair. I really dont think that your feelings will ever change about this. Even if you get help. Dont try to understand it just do the right thing and find them a good home or call your local SPCA. You will feel better when you do. I know it takes alot of courage for you to open up about this and I commend you for being honest. If i can help you any more please do not hesitate to get in touch. GOOD LUCK!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2006): Im sorry to be abusive but people like you make me feel sick. They are poor, defensive creatures who trust you to look after them right and care for them. But for some weird reason, one that only you know, you have these moments where you need to feel powererful and respected so choose to take it out on an animal. You should find your animals a loving home and then go and get yourself some help. Refrain from keeping animals until you know you are well enough.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): Maybe you just shouldn't have pets. If you really wanna beat an animal for a while, go for rats. No one cares if you beat those sick things for a while. Or bugs. They probably dont even feel pain so you're ok, plus the ugly factor would stop you feeling bad about it afterwards. But definitely dont whack cats and dogs. I really dont think you should keep those.
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male
reader, Learning2Love +, writes (1 December 2006):
 Hi anon, I think you have some self-love or self-respect issues that only a trained therapist/psychologist can help you with. I think you're brave to ask for help, but pls ask to see a therapist.
Your pets never asked for you to take them, and above all to be mistreated.
I believe that pets are an extension of ourselves and that mistreating them shows that there is something in your past/psychi that you need help with.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): cruelty to animals is often an early indicator of more serious emotional problems. my guess is that you may have some real issues that you may not even be fully aware of ... then again, you were aware enough that you thought to seek advice for your behavior towards the pets, so perhaps you've noted problems in other areas of your life as well. this doesn't mean you're a bad person or evil or crazy or anything like that. but i think you clearly realize that you have a problem that you have not been able to handle on your own. there's no shame in that - some people get a virus and heal on their own, others end up with pneumonia and need hospitalization and IV antibiotics. you just need some treatment from someone trained in this area. seek help from a professional therapist -- a psychologist who can help you unravel the cause behind these episodes and to understand what drove these unwanted behaviors. in the meantime, i think people are right that the best thing you can do for your pets -- the most responsible thing -- is to find another place for them, at least for the present. if you can't bring yourself to give them to a shelter, consider confiding in a close friend or family member and asking if they would be willing to take the pets for a period of time. then discuss the matter with your therapist and get their advice on what makes sense. be brave ... acknowledging you have a problem is the first step to recovery.
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reader, lonleyheart +, writes (1 December 2006):
 well first let me say welldone for having the courage to admit that i'd say just get some more counceilng for your sake and your pets sake and try not to get any more pets i the meantime just try and clear this problem and if you can't cope then give them to friends untill this problem is solved
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reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (1 December 2006):
 If you feel that you cannot cope sometimes without loosing your temper, give them to RSPCA to find them a good home.
When animals need house training for example, it can be hard not to lose your temper but patience is a must.
The kindest thing you can do is giving them away, PLEASE.
I appreciate that it must be hard for you to ask for help and risk not so nice comments but if you love you animals you must put yourself in their shoes!
I know that you do not give examples, but how would you feel if somebody kick you about even though ONLY ONCE A WEEK! for example.
These comments are not to be nasty to you but it you must face reality.
It is no good is you are nice sometimes if not so nice others times.
Pets do not need to be punished. It they behave in a way you disapprove of, it means that you did not train them properly. Your doing, not theirs.
Some people love the thought about having a pet but cannot cope with the responsibility of looking after them 24/7, you are only a bad person if you continue with this situation.
If you need pets company sometimes, perhaps when you are in the right mood go and visit a friend with a pet so that you can play with it for a while, then you give it back. In my opinion you are not suitable for having pets even though you still need to seek help regarding anger management.
Hope you do the right thing and never get another innocent animal again.
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reader, pica +, writes (1 December 2006):
Good for you having the courage to admit this. Get counselling for your own sake as well as the animals. Don't be tempted to get any more pets in the meantime.
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reader, stina  +, writes (1 December 2006):
 Hello Anon,
Please give these animals to another loving home (a friend, family member, etc) or a rescue/shelter. Until you get counseling for this behavior, it is not a good idea to have them around for obvious reasons. Animals should not be treated like this at ALL regardless if you treat them well 99% of the time. Please seek help. It will only benefit you and any potential animals you will own in the future.
When you see the counselor, he/she may help you find the reasons for your behavior and give you treatment, suggestions, medication to get rid of this problem you have. It's a good first step to reach out for help - at least you want help. Now please act on it.
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