A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 33 and my boyfriend is 43. We've been dating for 10 months. We have been recently looking for houses, but are not engaged. It bothers me that we are doing this as we are not engaged and it seems like it is putting the "cart before the horse." I have asked him why we are looking at houses when we are not engaged and he responds that it is for us. I have attempted to bring up the topic on a couple of occasions but he seems to avoid my questions. I indicate to him that I am uncomfortable not knowing, and he stated that I will just have to wait. Do you think he is going to propose soon?Confused
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female
reader, Pork Hock  +, writes (15 April 2007):
Hi, I'm 33 too. You shouldn't have to wait or expect a house or a ring...believe me. What you have, moments you remember, times together are way more in gratuity than a ring. You can be buried in a ring, but having a life and having memories is way more than what you have monetary wise. My Dad is a millionaire and we lost our Mum to breast cancer in 2004 and when I last spoke to her she said she was so grateful and happy to have lived 56 years and to be married to my Dad for 42 years. My Dad said he would have given up his CEO job, bonus, salary, trips around the world to have her. He said he would have lived in a garden shed to be with her. So remember that. Life and who you are lasts longer than a ring or great house, it is nice to have money and a great house but at the end of the day, you don't care if you wan't to be with that person. My Dad has loads of money but it didn't save her.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (15 April 2007):
 Is he expecting you to buy the house with him. Are you going to move into the house together? I think if you do go ahead and keep house hunting with him, he will assume that it is what you want as well. I have no idea if he will propose, but if he intends on only buying a house together and living together, you have to go along with it first before it becomes a reality. If you participate and go forward, he may be making all the future decisions according to what he wants as well. If you clearly don't want a common-law relationship with someone that you live with, You have to state that now and put the brakes on any future house hunting until he explains his views on marriage. It's not taking the glow off of any future proposal, it's trying to get on the same page and be headed together in the same direction.
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