A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i love a guy and he too loves me a lot,but my parents wont agree for our relationship, due the circumstances he is telling let us forget and marry the person our parents like. how should i react and wat should i do. should i marry him or forget Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Cupid_Call +, writes (20 January 2008):
your bf is getting away from the situation . If he really loves you he should be bold enough to marry you and stand with you at every phase and same implies to you.
Just blaming the culture and society doesnt really solves the problem :)
Still .. your life.. your decisions :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2008): hey thr :)
This is very easy way to get away from the relationships when you can put all the blame on the situation and get yourself out of it. Agree that it is India but at the same time if its love, your bf should be bold enough to go ahead with relationship n marry you and the same way on your side.
Good Luck :)
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A
female
reader, shadowcat  +, writes (19 January 2008):
 Poor girl.My heart goes out to you.
Listen, think of it from a practical point of view: if you let your parents decide for you who to marry, you have no guarantees of the man they choose: you'll be entering a marriage where you basically don't know the man at all, you'll be expected to constantly please his parents (not all in-laws are merciful) and most likely you will have little say over your future anymore. Whatever you do, do not let them select a mate for you: in the end, only YOU can do that correctly as it is a choice that will affect YOUR life, not your father's, not your mother's. Yours. FOREVER.
Second, your parents (on both sides of this) are probably not the best people to consult with: their interest is in seeing you well cared for, not necessarily happy-there is a difference. A man can be richer than Ali Baba but still have the emotional depth of a puddle. a man can be as well connected as some high born rajah but you and he could also still have as much in common as a turtle and a peanut butter sandwich. He is under little obligation to love you and the same is true for your boyfriend no matter what girl his parents select. You two are in love, and nobody can put a price on that. Go for it.
Last, if you can, try and reason with your parents. If they cannot or will not bend, take whatever dowry money you have, get a passport, and get the H@#$ out of there. Marry him outside of India: your parents will not be able to stop a marriage far from the Indian subcontinent. Above all else, do not let your parents bully you into something you do not want.
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A
male
reader, Hans +, writes (30 December 2007):
Why do you need your parents' permission?
I'm not sure how it is that you're old enough to get married, but still too young to make the decision of who to marry.
Are your parents blackmailing you? Is there some sort of economic or emotional leverage that they are using against you? Whatever it is, you need to free yourself from it, even if that means sacrificing whatever it is that they're holding over you.
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A
male
reader, shwethashivam +, writes (24 December 2007):
This is a never ending crisis in our country! May be, you should try satisfying your parents if they are not pretty much concerned of your caste system. On the other hand, you have to stick on to a decision - to do or not to do! If you could compromise with a 'no' then, give up your wishes and stick to them. If you need a 'yes', don't look back whatever it ordeals... I am with a similar problem but cant help, when it's my love's parents! :)
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (24 December 2007):
The decision to marry must be one that you make and one that you make without anybodys influence. If your parents have concerns about your present boyfriend ask them what those concerns are, after all they may know something about him or something about his family that they may feel would cloud your view of your boyfriend if you knew. This is highluy unlikely though, it is much more probable that they have chosen somebody for you and probably would feel upstaged if you go against this tradition.
What you have to decide is that you need to be happy to spend the rest of your life with this other person so it has to be a choice that you are 100% happy with. It looks like you are at the moment 100% happy with your boyfriend and unless there are some genuine concerns here then surely there is no reason why you cannot decide the future for yourselves.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007): Don't listen to your parents! I would NEVER say that usually, but I believe you should go with your heart and if your parents believe in the arranged marriage system, then you should sit down and talk eith tem about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007): I note that you are from India. I know this is a downward trend in India, lately but...do your parents still believe in the 'arranged marriage' system there? Is this why they won't consent to you being with this man you love? Do they have a chosen 'husband' for you? I think the best you can do--is find out why your parents, don't want you to be with them. Or is there something about 'him' that concerns them? Only you truely know the answers here. Let us know your thoughts
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A
female
reader, amazing! +, writes (23 December 2007):
 you should follow your heart!
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