A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok, well a few years ago my cousin came to stay with us for a while and we imediately became really close, then one night he kissed me (although i had been wanting too for ages i didnt, because i wasnt sure how he would react.) anyway we ended up having sex and everything all in that one night.We are now madly in love, 3 years later and the whole time we havnt told anyone, i just dont know how i could live without him, we keep trying to split up, but this just makes us stonger, we just cant fight it anymore! should we tell people, although i think this would break the family, or should we move away? the family have already had suspicions, after all im 18 and hes 20 and neither or us have had a gf/bf in 3 yrs? but we have always denied everything...Please show your opinion or tell your story if your in a relationship with your cousin.I just want help not abuse please.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (24 January 2010):
 You can legally marry, have sex and be in a relationship with your cousin. In some parts of the UK and cultures within the UK this is totally encouraged and seen as a source of joy in making the family stronger. In some parts and cultures of the UK, this would cause problems within the family and is seen as a taboo.
However, you can marry, and that's the main point, it's not seen as forbidden or illegal like in the UK.
I don't know their family, I don't know how they will take it. But dating your cousin is a very serious thing. They will expect you to be serious about this. If things go wrong, remember you will have to see your cousin for the rest of your life. That's why some families don't like this, and other families will expect marriage between you at some time.
Go talk to your mother, or maybe his mother, or any woman in your family that you are close too, who you know can keep a secret, is sensible, and gives good advice. They will help you to find out how the family react, and will support you if you feel that you need to bring this out into the open at last.
Keeping secrets like this is never good, you should have admitted this long ago. The fact that you both have lied will not help your case at all. Time for it to come out, after 3 years, you must be serious, someone will find out and then it won't look like love, it will look like a cheap, tacky affair. Good luck.
A
female
reader, problemmaganet  +, writes (24 January 2010):
 I don't really have any experience with this, but I think you should confide in someone that is a member of your family. Talk to them about it and see what they think. I don't think you should go running off and get married, but enjoy your relationship while it lasts. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2010): I don't have advice for you, but you should note that the UK, you can legally marry your cousin, unlike in some parts of the US.
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A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (24 January 2010):
 Its probably best to tell them. It's not illegal, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it at all. If they're your family then they should understand - no one can help who they fall in love with and you can't force yourself to fall out of love with somebody. You're both adults and it's your decision on who you are with. Speak to them, one at a time or in a group. It depends on how you think they'll take it better. It may be scary, but they're your family. You'll never know unless you try :). Good luck and let me know how it goes
xxx
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