A
female
age
30-35,
*ad_lonly_girl
writes:Me (16 in 5 days) and my boyfriend (16) really want to have sex and have a baby, we have had safe sex and now want the real thing, but we are both are in the middle of some A levels. we have our own flat together so it is not like any of our parents can see us but neither of our parents want us to have a child quite yet, shall we ignor them all and have a baby any way.Also to top it all off my boyfriend asked me to marry him yesterday but havn't given him an answer, should i accept that too?Please someboby help me, and fast!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Im 16, i want to have a baby with someone that is alreadt wanting to be in my life forever we both want this for the both of us i have a 1 year old god daughter who lives with me and who i take care of ever since she came out into this world she's knows me as mommy since her mom was never there for her. I know even though im 16 i will become the best mom and i can make this work i mean my mom might be a little mad but she will forgive me later on. I'm planning on duing it this tuesday cause i dont want to have kids at a young age.Even if i have to go through blood tests or morning sickness i dont care il do it because i want something that i will have for the rest of my life something that i know i had and will love me for being so precious.
A
female
reader, sexiestgirlalive18  +, writes (27 July 2007):
 Well I had my first kid at 15 and even though I was living with my family it was hard. If you are living on your own it will be alot harder cause you have to pay your bills and then pay for medical bills and diapers and everything else for a kid. Once you have a kid so young you kinda lost your teenage years and it does suck. Even though I had a kid at 15 I am glad I did but sometimes I regret it because I had no life or friends really cause you cant hang out much or do anything except take care of the baby and work. Well you might not of liked that but that is what I went through and I didnt live on my own and I didnt have to pay bills. Think of how it will be will you have to work all the time and everything. I still do that to this day mostly cause I have to kids now.
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female
reader, marj +, writes (25 July 2007):
 Hon if you dont know whether to accept your guys proposal then you aren't ready to have his child. Dont think having a baby at 16 is a good idea, it isn't.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007): I just had my 1st baby. I am 26. Trust me, you do not want to make that decision when you're only 16 years old. I can't believe you're even thinking about this. Do you own a home? Do you both have good jobs? Are you mature enough to stay home every night & every weekend changing & feeding & bathing and burping and clothing and trying to get to stop crying a baby?? My guess is NO. Babies take up 100% of your time. Who is going to take care of your baby while you're at school? Don't be stupid. Not to mention the things you need just to take care of a baby. It costs me $130.00 a month just in formula. And my baby is only 3 months old. Diapers are also expensive, wipes, clothing, a crib, crib bedding, a bassinet, a stroller, a infant car seat, a toddler car seat, a high chair, bathing accessories, medicines, health items, I could go on & on!! You can't afford a baby and you definetly are too young to even be considering a baby or marriage. You'll regret it, trust me. It's not all happiness & cute baby smiles. I won't even get into my labor experience. Your body is still maturing too. You don't want to put it through labor before it's even mature. Do you even have health insurance other than being on your parent's? Would you be able to afford health insurance for your child until they were 18 yrs. old? You have to take an infant to the doctor's office at least once a month for a check up & routine immunizations. You need to wait until you've been with your partner for at least a few yrs. because in honesty, you probably don't even know him, as he is going to change as he enters adulthood and so are you. Wouldn't it be a shame to bring an innocent baby into the world & a yr. or 2 down the line realize you or your partner want out, or want completely different things in life? Take your time. You're talking about an innocent child's life here, not just a little fantasy that you & your partner have right now.
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female
reader, Beckto +, writes (25 July 2007):
 Too young. Both of you. What's the rush? If you are going to marry him now, you should still be married in 5 years, right? Why not do it then?
Do you know how much is costs to have a baby? If you have a baby you will want to do and give anything you can to that child. But, if you don't have the money, how can you give them the care that they need? Doctor's appts, medication, safety devices (like child car seats, high chairs, cribs), formula, diapers, baby food, etc. On top of all that, do you have the life experience needed to guide a human being through life? You might think you do, but I know many 30 year olds who don't think they have what it takes -- someone twice your age.
Your parents are saying you don't need a baby now, not because they are mean people, but because they are your parents and want what's best for you. If you're too young to know that they are just looking out for you, then you are too young to have a child of your own (who you will only want the best for).
It is not as easy as you think, so don't insult your parents by doubting their advice.
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A
female
reader, 88jane +, writes (25 July 2007):
 youve got to think what your life would be like if you had a baby now! so...you would go through 9 months of pregnancy-that means sickness, blood tests, regular apps. with the midwife, swelling-----how do you think you would be able to study while this is going on! your would start to strain financially as you have to buy stuff for the baby---moses basket, pram, cot, nappies, clothes etc....
towards the end of your pregnancy your going to feel tired, fed up--you will need to rest (not much chance to study here either!).
then you will have the labour---and that wont be easy obviously but i dont need to go into that!
then your life will completely change--you will no longer come first in your life!! the baby will! if you need phone credit and your baby needs nappies--then you buy nappies. you want a new pair of shoes but the baby needs clothes--you buy the babies clothes!! your baby would be number 1 priority for the next 18 years!
you probably wont get much chance to study with a new baby that needs feeding every 3-4 hours, nappy changed, a cuddle! and when your baby sleeps you would be so tired that you would sleep too!
then you find that all your friends want to go out drinking or whatever but you cant go because you have the baby!
youre not even an adult yet-even if you feel as though you could be responsible to have a baby you may change your mind when you are struggling to cope emotionally and financially---but you cant take it back once its happened! if you have a baby you have to be responsible for that child for the next 18 years!! are you ready at this age to make that sort of comittment??
your a levels will inevitebly suffer if you get pregnant--do you want to risk jeapordising your future career? what job do you want for your future?
I would suggest you focus on your education first and start saving up! when you are financially stable then maybe you can start thinking about starting a family!
enjoy your youth--go out with your mates when you are 18 and get drunk like normal teenagers! dont start a family until you are an adult!!
i think the fact that you posted this question shows that even you dont think that having a baby at this stage in your life is the right thing to do!
in regards to the marriage propsal----your obviously having doubts ecause you posted this question! and the answer is the same as before----you are young, you can be with your boyfriend without having to marry him just yet---this is a committment that should be for life and although you may feel like he is the one--you are young, how do you know? you havent had much life experience!! how long have you even been with your boyfriend??
this was a long answer i know but this is a big decision for you obviously and there is lots to think about!! i hope ive raised some points for you to think about!
xxx
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female
reader, TaylorChu +, writes (25 July 2007):
 Wow, can you really afford a child and still go to school? Don't expect your parents to take care of the baby because once you produce one it is up to your to be responsible for his or her life FOR LIFE. Dont have sex and dont have a baby. There are adults now who cant even handle a baby and they are much more mature, have insurance and even their own homes nad married and still cant handle it. Plus your body isnt even finshed maturing. A baby will such ever once of nutrition out of you if you arent up to par in health. Enjoy your life. Your parents already know how tough it was to have both of you. It is a sacrifice of all you have for that one little person. Dont have sex. Dont do it.
AND even if you get married...dont plan to have kids early. being married and having kids with no means to take care of them is neglect. live your lives together. Have a children when you finish your time at university and are well established not before then. You'll be pulling your hair out and throwing away your youth.
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female
reader, flower girl +, writes (25 July 2007):
 Babe the fact that you are asking for advice about both of these issues says it all to me.
If you wanted to have a baby and get engaged you would not need to ask anyone.
I was just nineteen when i had my first child, and love him i do but i think if i could go back i would have waited, you just do not realise how much time and money they take up.
You are in the middle of A levels, which by the way i think is fantastic as i don't have any, now picture this,
Baby, housework, shopping, sleep, studying, you will never fit it all in and stay sane.
If i were you i would get your A levels out of the way, and then have your baby, you don't need to rush into anything as you are both still very young.
If you truly love each other why not wait, concentrate on your qualifications and having fun for a bit.
Take care.xx.
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