A
female
age
30-35,
*essica_04
writes:hi! well my boyfriend and i akready had sex for the first time a month ago we are both 15, i am really happy wth him there isnt one day he doesnt tell me he loves me. well last night we were talking, he started a conversation about how he wanted to have a baby once we turn 17 i know we are too too young to have a baby but i feel like i have enough suport from him he has a job and he sayd he would take care of everything, and i feel like i really want to give him that baby but im not so sure, i need advice.... help pleaseee! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lil-chloe  +, writes (24 September 2008):
 You got to trust me on this one. Its not easy being pregnant.
A
female
reader, lil-chloe +, writes (19 July 2008):
do you really want him to control you, ll him your not ready for a baby just yet,finish school get a good job,theres plenty of time for babies later on in life
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A
female
reader, jessica_04 +, writes (15 July 2008):
jessica_04 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks you guys i really apritiate your advice, i know my boyfriend will understand my decission.
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female
reader, Delightful +, writes (15 July 2008):
Firstly, slow down..........gosh, you are going through alot of changes at the moment and thinking about bringing another person into the world is a HUGE commitment both emotionally and financially.
You need to talk to your boyfriend about YOUR dreams and aspirations for the future. You are not only giving him a baby, you are committing yourself for the rest of your life, whether he is around or not.
My advice would be to enjoy your late teens and 20s doing what young people enjoy most - going out, having freedom, creating a career, securing some finances for the future and most importantly having fun. You have plenty of time to have a family when you are older, when you have more maturity and wisdom behind you. Please please think very seriously about this, being a Mum is really hard work.
Good luck and keep us posted xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): If you dont want to have a kid then just say "I dont want to have a baby right know I want to just wait untie I'm ready but that's not now or then." I'll work trust me.
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male
reader, xylplxym +, writes (15 July 2008):
Oh a baby! well how charitable of him to offer such a blessing, but how do you really feel about having a child?
Forgive that first line of sarcasm but seriously, do you really want a baby? Or better, can you really support a child at this point in you life? And the most important question, can you be a good parent?
I would really like to know more about the situation. Like what his job is and how much he makes. Where are you two even living or do you not live together at all? Why have you not talked with your parents or other relatives first or have you? Or are you distant from them because of your boyfriend? But also why the hell you both are so young and aleady having sex and talking about a baby together? I am just going to tell you straight, I totally disagree with you being so young and having sex and I am certain you could think of some incorrect reason why I feel that way so I won't even go there.
But puting aside how I feel about your relationship, you really should not have a child if you are uncertain about it. You already said you are not sure, I think that is a clear sign that you have to talk with your partner about this. Now this is the advise I would give to adults, but you are not an adult. You are a child. I don't care about how well you think this goes in your head or his head, it is a mistake to have children at such a young age. This is simply because you are not mentally prepared for having a child because you yourself are a child and have not yet learned how to manage situations like an adult.
The most common reason for teenagers becoming poor parents is that one or both never matured enough to deal with children responsibly. What can and does happen is that when the child acts out or gets mad, the parent gets mad too and may even do something stupid like beat the child out of fustration. I do not mean to scare you but the reality is that children are beaten to death and it is largely due to incompetent parenting. Not that I am saying something so terrible will happen in your situation but this is how it can start.
I am also not convienced that you could even financially supoort a child at your age unless your boyfriend is the son of a millionaire or a genius. At his age he obviously can't have a job that requires a college degree which is a problem considering the high cost of living in the US. And what about his/her education? Your child must go to school in America you know. I am assuming you didn't lie about your nationality. I kind of am hoping you did lie because if you didn't it is totally against the law to have underage sex even with someone your own age at least in most states and then I would have to ask you to turn yourself in along with your boyfiend.
In any case, I am pretty sure that there is no reason you two couldn't wait longer to accept such a huge responsiblity as parnthood. Well unless of course, if your relationship isn't as good as you think it is. And that is another cold fact of life; young relationships, especially sexually active ones usually do not last. You say that he tells you he loves you but what does he DO that makes you know he loves you? And I don't want to hear meaningless crap like that he looks into your eyes and tells you you are the most beautiful girl in the world very morning.
I know that I will take a good amount of heat for writting this response but it is worth it if I get you actually stop and think about your situation realistically. Oh and I lied I am trying to scare you out of having a child. And don't worry about not answering my questions, I don't really need to hear the answers to assume them myself.
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female
reader, KiaGrace  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 I think thats really cute. I think Young Love is the most adorable thing, one of the best things youll experience in your life. Unfortuantley Hun, I don't agree on "Let's have a baby" part.
You are only fifteen, and even when you are SEVENTEEN, you will still have a whole life ahead of you. Seventeen isn't even an adult yet! I know you are really eager to give him this baby that you both want. Have you ever watched Maury?
"Are you the father?" Alot of guys WANT babies and then deny it when it happens. I am not saying he will do this to you, I am just saying wait until you both mature and are responsible, have careers picked out, when your married.
All that other fun stuff, If you both REALLY love eachother, you will wait. There is no rush.
It's a WANT .. not a NEED.
Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): In my opinion you should at LEAST wait until college, but if not, why don't you just wait until you are seventeen and THEN start thinking about it. Two years is a long time, don't decide now.
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A
female
reader, kisses0110 +, writes (15 July 2008):
ahhhh! stop right there sweetie! you have to look at this from another point of view... youre fifteen and really being seventeen isnt that different. Only more responsibilities an trust me having a kid only adds a whole lot more responsibility. think of the stress first of all... the pregnancy troubles... an dont forget expenses! having a kid can get expensive... FAST. Hospital bills. Food. Diapers. Clothes. The list goes on and on! from my experience when a guy says he wants to have a baby with you he is only trying to make sure you stick around. jus remember this: if he really does love you he will wait untill you two are both financially stable an really know if that is wat you both want
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): TRUST ME....WAIT! if you have doubts....wait! go with your gut feeling! i wanted to have a baby when i was 12...then 15...then 17 and up. i never got pregnant and i wanted it so bad. but then 2 years ago...i got pregnant and realized how crazy my boyfriend at that time was and wish i didn't. since then, don't want kids...don't plan on having 'em and i see everyone else having 'em and wish they waited. they look at me and though i'm kinda old...they are jealous of my freedom and how happy me and my boyfriend are. we both have jobs and we love being selfish and shop and do whatever...if you have a kid...that's for life and trust me...it's expensive raising a kid! my nephew's clothes and toys cost bout the same for clothes i get for myself! go to walmart or target and wlak around the baby section and see how much stuff cost and milk...that's something you have to get every other day! watch the maury show too (lol) there is so much drama! give it time...you don't want to end up like britney spears lol
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