A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have been dating a great man for a for a few months now and just recently, a friend of mine mentioned that he was back on the dating website we meet on and he is active. My friend had signed up when I told her how wonderful it was meeting him, she was hoping to find some nice men too and she was surprised when she saw he was looking at her profile. They have never meet and she has only seen a picture of him. We are still dating and see each other about 3 times a week, we always have a wonderful time together. However, I have found it weird that he doesn't ever call, we usually set up the dates before the end of the last one and he always contacts me between them by text only. Is that normal? I am just concerned that I might be wasting my time and he isn't really that interested. I am getting very close to this man and am afraid that if I continue I'll just get hurt. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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female
reader, sunnycomet +, writes (3 September 2009):
It sounds to me like he is just using you. There is no need for him to be on a dating site while he is dating you--that alone is reason enough to stop seeing/contacting him. He is also not contacting you alot and he doesn't phone you. This makes me believe that he probably has another girlfriend and is cheating on her with you and maybe other girls. And like Collaroy said, he could even be married.
Stop wasting your time on this guy and instead give your time to someone who deserves it!
Good Luck!
A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (3 September 2009):
He is planning his time very carefully if you ask me, keeping you on the shelf until he's ready for girl number one, that allows him to juggle girls two and three without getting too close to any of them. You will have to have a frank discussion with this guy if you want to find out why he is keeping you at a safe distance and you can start by asking him why he's still listed on dating sites whle he's involved with you. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y +, writes (3 September 2009):
Yes, if he's back on the date site, you're wasting your time. Same thing once happened to me, and when I mentioned to this guy that I was aware he was on the site and asked him if he wanted to stop seeing each other..... he accused me of stalking him! Take your cue from your guys actions. People who have found someone they want to be with don't hang 'round date sites. Good luck :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): I don't think it is normal at all that after a few months that he never calls you and contacts you by text before your prearranged date. He sounds like he is cheating on someone that he doesn't want to know about you or any of the others.
I think you are wasting your time definately, if he hasn't claimed you in a few months I don't think this is going anywhere....Put this fish back in the sea and bait your hook in your own community so that you can know more about who and what you are dealing with.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (3 September 2009):
Hi,
the only reason I can think that you are not giving this guy the heave ho straight away is you lack self confidence.
Surely these are warning signs enough, he is obviously a player and you are one of many conquests.
Everything you have said points to a serial cheater, good grief, pick yourself up , call him and tell him to pick on another target.
Don't let yourself become another notch in his belt.
He could even be married. best way to find that out is ask for his home number. If he won't give it you know why.
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