A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 35 years old and a mother of one. Happily married for the last 5 years.When the pandemic was just starting to take shape, we shifted into a new apartment complex, within the campus where my husband works. Our new neighbours include a young doctor who we have interacted with briefly. Always pleasant, nothing questionable.I visited him for the first time today because my husband told me that this guy is good, you can try consulting him. I told him about my problem and he asked a few regular questions. He then asked me if I was pregnant because the medication that he wanted to prescribe shouldn't be had during pregnancy. I said no, I wasn't. Then he chatted for a bit about my health. He then suddenly asked me i was planning on getting pregnant in the coming month. I said no, I'm not.I can't seem to shake the feeling off that he was inappropriate and I am not comfortable with the feeling. I said I wasn't pregnant the first time he asked me. I don't know why he had to pointedly ask me if I was planning to get pregnant this month! I am furious that I didn't know how to respond, that possibly this is harrassment. No other doctor has ever asked me such things in such a pointed manner.Am I overreacting? Is it "normal" for a doctor to be this intrusive? Was he inappropriate or am I reading too much into this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2020): You are overreacting to a simple straight forward medical question, that in fact is a reasonable question that shows he was thinking ahead. I have to be honest when people overreact in this manner I find it quite worrying that a doctor could be at risk because YOU have an issue with straight talk. Doctors could be scared to ask questions in the future and e would be in trouble then.
This is your OWN MIND thinking inappropriate thoughts and transferring them over to this doctor. Why do people get so freaked out at direct questions? intrusive! doctors have to be intrusive to save lives and discover what is hidden beneath the surface.
Don't know what type of doctors you have visited in the past, but they should ask personal questions and we should remember that they have the weight of patients suing them if they get it wrong, of course, they have to ask questions to cover themselves.
You have met the doctor on a personal basis so probably find it a bit strange when meeting him in his ROLE.
Harassment it is not, please be careful of harmful accusations that can ruin peoples lives, careers, and characters, to bandy the latest BUZZ words around just because it's popular, is a dangerous game and grossly irresponsible if untrue.
Look closer at how YOU PERCEIVE the world.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2020): Gees! Over reacting? Er yeah just a bit!
I wonder how you would be if god forbid somebody actually did give an inappropriate comment your way!
I feel for this poor man, doesn't even know his career could be on the line for work he wasn't even being paid for!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2020): Let us look at this another way.
Is it normal for someone to go to a doctor without making an appointment first? Is it normal for someone to ignore the virus crisis and think that the social distancing laws and obligations do not apply to her? If anyone was behaving too intrusively or friendly it was you.
I went to see my private doctor a week ago. I did not need to be told that I need an appointment. That certain days and times are out anyway, no matter how much money I offer, and I need to wear a mask. The doctor I go to knows I have a lot of sense and can think of these things for myself, because I care about other people and their welfare. I would also never expect the consultation to be free or at a reduced price because the person lives near me.
Very often the things that people ask doctors nowadays are so simple they could have found it out on google if they spent less than half an hour online. It saves them time and money and wasting the doctor's time.
My little dog was recently very ill. It was late at night. I would never expect any professional person to be available then. I went online and looked up some bits and pieces and saw that my dog was seriously ill.
But I still waited till the next day and I still made an appointment.
The more consideration you have for others the more people will consider you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 September 2020):
 You are overreacting. He is a doctor, you consulted him about your health problems, and the conversation was about helping you to solve your health problems, not about being narrated your sexual / reproductive story, about which I bet the poor doctor could not care less.
I think he simply wanted to drive home very clearly the point that the medication he prescribed you is not compatible with a pregnancy. You could object that you got that already when he asked you if you were pregnant, but most doctors know better than assuming that their patients are at least of average intelligence , if not above average. You understood that when he asked you if you were pregnant right then was to make sure you knew those medications could possibly harm a pregnancy, ERGO the same is valid for the following months too . But better safe than sorry, and some things profit from being repeated and stressed .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2020): You went to the doctor for free medical-advice, as people frequently do. He was considering offering you a medication that you shouldn't take if you're pregnant. Should you need to continue taking the prescription; for your safety, and that of a your fetus, he wanted to know if you intend to get pregnant. That was a strictly clinical and proper question to ask. The fact you showed-up at his door uninvited during Covid-19 pandemic social distancing restrictions is an imposition! He has to treat patients, and must avoid unnecessary exposure. Considering the circumstances, he still consulted with you. That was quite a courtesy. You normally have to be prescreened and checked for fever, fill-out or answer a list of questions; before you visit your doctor's office.
First-off, it's a scientific-fact that some women have gone through full-term pregnancy without even knowing they were pregnant! You may not know you're pregnant until you've taken a pregnancy test. If no other doctor has ever asked you such a question; then you've seen a series of quacks and incompetent doctors!
You are of child-bearing age, and this is a question that any doctor worth his or her salt should ask a female-patient he or she is prescribing medication that could prove harmful to a fetus. You have to consult your doctor before even taking a vitamin supplement, if you're pregnant!!! As part of medical-procedure and examination; doctors ask very intimate questions for your safety, and as a precautionary-measure! Also to avoid frivolous malpractice law-suits!
He was not acting inappropriately, he was being a good doctor. Don't cry wolf, or be quick to jump to conclusions that could cause you major embarrassment; or jeopardize the practice of a good doctor. This is why doctors shouldn't offer on-the-spot free medical-advice! You appear uninvited at his door, seeking free medical-advice; and walkaway ready to make serious accusations that were totally unfounded!
If you made an appointment with your doctor (as you should have) who would have asked the same questions, would you have posted this question? You should have made an appointment and seen a doctor through proper channels and procedures to start with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2020): I feel sorry for the doctor. You invaded his privacy by turning up at his home expecting a consultation. For all you know he was sleeping, eating a meal, in the bath or had company and did not want you barging in, but he was very polite and helpful and in return for this he gets suspicion. Not nice. He did nothing wrong at all, but you had no right to go to his home and try to speak to him without an appointment and paying.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (31 August 2020):
 Hands down you are overreacting. He just wanted to make sure that the medicine he was giving you would not hurt you or a baby. What if he didn't ask you were pregnant and you wound up having a miscarriage?
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (31 August 2020):
 I don' think he said or did anything wrong here, he simply needed to know that you was not pregnant as the medication he was going to prescribe should not be taken during pregnancy.
Also if he is going to prescribe this medication, he would also have needed to know you were not planning to get pregnant whilst on this medication.
Yes i think your over reacting, i think if he did not ask you these questions would be rather more concerning on his part.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 August 2020):
 You went for an informal consult of a stranger and neighbor.
If the medication he wanted to prescribe means there should be no pregnancies or intentions (in the near future) of getting pregnant) then I think his question was on point. You should probably take a pregnancy test to ensure that you are NOT pregnant (an don't know it).
Medication doesn't work overnight. He had to make SURE you weren't thinking that getting pregnant soonish wouldn't be a problem. I don't think it was intrusive at all. He was doing his job.
I think you are WAY over reacting.
The ONLY thing I find inappropriate here? Is knocking on your neighbors door expect to get a consult. (now if you visited him at his medical office I see nothing wrong whatso ever).
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A
male
reader, Boris Grushenko  +, writes (31 August 2020):
 Some medications can harm an unborn child. Sometimes this risk is still present weeks or even months after the last dosis is taken. I don't see this als intrusive or inappropriate.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2020): You don't mention WHICH med he gave you. Some of the meds can be detrimental for not only an ongoing pregnancy, but future one as well if it is taken to close to the conception.
Google the med, read the label...
I don't see anything weird.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2020): Grow up. This doctor did not say anything inappropriate to you. Are you that much of a sensitive ninny that a normal question turns you into a self entitled trouble maker?
He wanted to make sure that you were not planning on getting pregnant soon after providing medication to you. He did his job thoroughly. I suggest you do not continue visiting this good doctor. People like you ruin others reputations with your over reactions and believe you've been offended and use it to cause trouble for others.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2020): I would imagine that he asked you again, because if you were planning on getting pregnant, the drug he was planning to prescribe could affect the foetus. If pregnancy was a possibility in the very near future, then the drug and the new pregnancy could overlap.
It sounds as if he was just being thorough and a good doctor. I cannot imagine why you think he was being inappropriate. Or his behaviour verging on harrassment??
Your imagination is in overdrive. Rein it in.
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