A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok the first thing Im going to point out and admit is that Im very insecure. I dont need to be told this because I know, and need to work on it.My problem is my insecurities. I dont like my boyfriend looking at ANY other females. I found some pictures and a whole folder of porn on his computer. All the females have big breasts and are naked or wearing next to nothing. I get insanley jealous of him looking at this as I myself dont have big breasts at all and dont feel as attractive as these models posing in rediculous ways.Ive talked to him about it and he is very supportive and understanding and even deleted everything for me. Hes told me Im the most beautiful girl hes laid eyes on and he loves my boobs and everything about me. He told me he doessnt want to look at anyone else - thats why he deleted them.I would just like some advice to help me get past this insane jealousy I have. Everywhere we look there is a naked female with her tits out - websites, tv, movies, magazines. Even on the street the females wearing very revealing outfits. I worry every time we see it is that hes checking her out! I know Im being silly - I just need advice to help me get past it. Thanks
View related questions:
boobs, breasts, insecure, jealous, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jen1689  +, writes (18 April 2012):
 I'm insecure as well, even though I know that I'm a very attractive female and that my husband adores me. No matter how gorgeous you are or how hot you are, there will always be women that you feel are more attractive than you. Even Jessica Alba gets insecure. On the same token, there will always be a man who finds someone attractive that others don't, and vice-versa.In all honesty, what I do is I point out other attractive girls to my husband. Learning to accept that other girls have attractive features, regardless of whether or not you think they are, is a great way to accept your own features. I personally try to find something in each and every girl that I see that I think is attractive. When I point them out to my husband, he usually disagrees with me, and tells me what he doesn't find them attractive. Perhaps this will make you realize that he doesn't ALWAYS notice every girl that passes him on the street, even the ones you think he might be.As far as movies, ads, porn, etc., you can do the same thing. Obviously don't point out every single billboard or magazine ad you see, but begin accepting girls' attractive features. Try to mimic what you see. Make yourself feel sexy. If you think he finds something particularly sexy, do it.Like others have said, this isn't about how he feels, this is about how you feel. Change the way you see things, and it might help. Good luck.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 April 2012):
Do you know why it is that you're so insecure? I think you need to look back over your life and work out what it is that's caused you to feel so insecure about yourself and your boyfriend. There'll be a reason somewhere, maybe very obvious, maybe not so obvious.
Once you can see what that is, you'll know why you feel this way and you'll find it easier to deal with.
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 April 2012):
 You have to realize it's your issue, not his. You're the one who is comparing yourself to these other girls. It has nothing to do with how he sees you. There are a lot of guys who do not go for girls with big boobs. He's saying your body is perfect for him...so to him these girls you compare yourself to are irrelevant. It comes down to you not being comfortable being you. You're self worth is built by how others see you, and not by who you are within yourself.
The more you begin to love who you are, just for being you, the more your view outside yourself with change. It is true that society has created this warped view of self, but it's up to you to bring your thoughts in line with what's true, and not accept how society defines the body. Never define yourself by movies, or magazines. That's not real. I remember watching an interview with girls in magazines. They said that they are not perfect...It's Photoshop that makes them look that way, but in reality they have average looking bodies, with a stretch mark here and there, and talked about how their imperfections were erased simply with a point and click of the mouse.
A friend of mine use to perform in the "Ice Capades" She is one who can eat and eat and not gain weight, but she expressed her concern for what other women went through. They would weigh in before tour, and some of these girls would starve themselves for a few days or longer, to make sure they would weigh in at their required weight for their height. She said anorexia and bulimia are common among those performers.
I'll tell you though, and the reason you need to work on how you view yourself. Your heart is more attractive than any part of you that is physical. That's who you really are. Don't let who you are get tainted by the view this world wants you to have. Be true to yourself, and it's that truth you'll begin to see through the reasons your boyfriend is with you.
...............................
A
male
reader, MikeEa1 +, writes (17 April 2012):
 I feel sorry for you. I'm a bloke and I can get jealous too. In one earlier relationship I got jealous and blamed myself for not controlling my feelings of inadequacy. I have since thought that my ex didn't love me enough because i have never been jealous of anyone else since and that was a long time ago. then there's the whole woman thing. I'm a bloke and i like looking at females showing lots of skin but it seems to be over the top all the time and we don't want to be lusting after women all the time but women seem to need us to be lusting after them all the time. there's a viscous cycle going on here and i don't know who to blame. it's not your fault honey thats for sure. maybe society needs to evolve more.
...............................
|
