A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Was my boyfriend right to be annoyed about this, or was he wrong ?. He was supposed to meet me at my house on Tuesday afternoon and then we were going to go to his house, but he didn't turn up. I was tempted to go round to his house anyway, but i didn't as i thought he might not have been at home or that he might have been angry with me or something. When i checked facebook this morning, he had disappeared from my friends list and from my relationship status. I think that was because he had removed me from his friends list then blocked me. A couple of hours later, he sent me a friend request, but he also sent a nasty message, telling me that he hadnt been well because of his heart problem ( he has a hole in his heart ) and he called me weird because i didnt just go round to his house anyway. He seemed really angry that i didnt go round to see him. He calmed down later on though and we have arranged for me to go and see him tonight. The thing is, i am really sick of him taking things out on me. He has bipolar disorder, and has taken things out on me before. I can understand him being annoyed as he was really ill and i didnt go round to his house, but i'm not a mind reader so i didnt know what was wrong. I'm nervous about going to see him incase we argue . It's also his own fault in a way that he hasnt been well, as he has been drinking a lot lately, and he smokes. I love him so much, but i'm under a lot of pressure with him. Do you think i should even stay with him ?. I want to go and see how he is, as i am worried, but i dont know whether to stay with him or just be his friend.
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (12 July 2012):
 It will be very hard to be happy in a relationship with someone who's bipolar. My advice would be to just be his friend. His behaviour is not good.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 July 2012):
 Couldn't he JUST have called you to let you know he wasn't feeling up to visiting you?
I think he is being an ASS, but maybe he is just really scared?
And the whole FB issue.... VERY immature.
Talk to him and if it begins to look like he rather fight, walk away, end it and move on. Because he will not change.
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (12 July 2012):
 How can he be mad at you for this?he said he come visit ur place and he didn't turn up?so YOu should be the one mad at him but your not cause your taking a more mature way of handling things..how can he expect you to know that he's sick,your not psychic!!
And in this type of situation the best you could have done was send him a text or call him and aks why he hasn't reached your place yet just to clear the air..
I think your boyfriend is being unreasonable for being mad at something like this,and taking you off facebook and adding you back well its not a game its a relationship we are talking about here,he can't delete you from his life as and when he wants and take you back..
Sit your boyfriend down and talk to him,tell him he can't always be so unreasonable and always expect you to know things..talk it out with him,and he's your boyfriend not a monster you don't have to be scared of him,be bold be direct tell him what's going on in ur mind!!
I think you suggest to your boyfriend to take psychiatric help to work with these disorders otherwise its just goin to ruin what you have..
All the best x
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 July 2012):
 He was supposed to meet you at your house and he never showed up… and then he got mad at you for not being a mind reader and just showing up at his house? HE should have called you to say he was not going to make it. OR if he was too sick to do so have someone else contact you. That is common courtesy.
The concern is that you didn’t pick up the phone can call him to check on him because you thought he was mad at you… why do you think that all these things would be your fault.
He probably got irrationally mad at you when you did not show up and deleted you from facebook… and while facebook is the bane of many relationships his reaction tells me a lot….
“he calmed down later on” honey I live with a man who “calms down later on”… it’s not fun.
Is his bipolar disorder being treated? IF not, I’d be very cautious about remaining in this relationship… a bipolar with a heart condition who is self medicating with alcohol and smoking is not good…
Only you can decide if you want to stay with him… but I can tell you that if you are this frustrated at this point in your relationship, it’s only going to get worse…
Make a list of all the good things that the relationship with him gives you
Then next to it make a list of all the bad things…
Then compare the two and decide what to do.
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A
female
reader, IamJess +, writes (12 July 2012):
 I think the fact he deleted you off facebook and then added you again was a little bit immature, but because of his bipolar condition I can obviously see why, because their mood changes at any point and their up and down, up and down, he obviously hasn't been having a good day, if you just go and see him and try and resolve things then maybe things will be better. If you're really unhappy and feel like things aren't going to change then you obviously need to end the relationship and try and be friends, considering he might be very angry at you for ending the relationship, I'd try and be gentle.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (12 July 2012):
 If he wasn't well, the proper and considerate thing to do would have been to call and tell you/text you and say he wasn't feeling well. We can't always guess at what people are thinking and/or how they are feeling. He should not be mad at you because of this. I would tell him this and see how he responds. I agree with you that he should not be drinking and smoking if he is already ill, but some people do this because they either no longer care about their healthy, are rebelling against the illness, or just enjoy the unhealthy behavior because it helps them get their minds off of their health/lives. Regardless, you have a decision to make. Do you want to stay with someone who is so inconsiderate of you and blames things on you? Do you want to stay with someone who has such varied behavior? This can really take a toll on a person emotionally...never know what is going on and what reaction you are going to get from your partner. It's something to think about depending on how much more of this behavior you can take.
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