A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I worry my boyfriend has cheated on me when we first started going out, his ex girlfriend is also his best mate an they spend a lot of time together!If one stays round the others over night they will both stay in the same bed, I found this out after 7 months of him trying to hide it from me and it accidentally slipping out of his ex's mouthI don't know what to do?His last ex played a big part in when we first started going out (different to his best mate) an wouldn't leave us alone, he would still see her, and stay over hers at night without me knowing, his excuse was he only just met me an really liked me an didn't want to risk mucking it up.So now all of this info has come out from own admition on his behalf after I confronted him I am at a total loss of what to do?was it all inocent or does he have something to hide and am I being a mug??
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cheated on me, ex girlfriend, his ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): I agree with xanthic and QueenKatie. Entirely.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): I can tell you don't want to see the truth. It really is obvious to everyone else. I am sorry for you because he has taken advantage of your sweet and caring and 'believing' nature. Please - for your own sake - dump him and use every bit of strength you have to not see him again. Once these kind of guys realise they can play you and get away with it they will just keep on doing it. No man should disrespect a woman by sleeping in another womans bed. It is so far from innocent he is making a real fool out of you. I am shaking my head in disbelief. Please find a caring kind man. You do deserve one.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): Awwwww, sweetheart. What a horrible thing to find out; you must be devastated.First of all, it is completely and utterly inappropriate in every way for your boyfriend to be sleeping in anyone else's bed but yours. Whether sex has or hasn't occurred, he has not only crossed the line, but gone about three miles beyond it. There is no question about this, and I don't know a single woman who would put up with such behaviour from a so-called committed partner.Second of all, his relationship with his ex is clearly intimate - if not in a sexual, then in an emotional way, (which may actually be more hurtful). Even if this bed-sharing weren't happening, the fact that you are uncomfortable with their friendship should ring alarm bells. If it makes you unhappy, then he should put you first and stop hanging out with her so much. You have every right to have your thoughts and wishes on this subject respected.Thirdly, and I'm sorry to say this, it does sound to me as though they're having sex. If he absolutely had to stay over (which would still be deeply inappropriate), he should be sleeping on the couch or the floor. I think you'd be every bit within your rights to demand that he chooses between his relationship with you and his relationship with his ex. This situation must be hugely painful for you, and you deserve much better: you can't afford to be stuck in a love triangle with a guy who just can't commit. Alternatively, you could save yourself the heartache of watching him choose, kick him to the curb, and find someone who is entirely free to love you in the way you deserve. :)Good luck. I really do sympathize with the pain you must be going through. Having omnipresent exes in your life is no fun at all.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (3 June 2010):
 I would be very VERY surprised if he was not cheating on you. Very very.
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A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (3 June 2010):
I always say answer your own question! by asking your'self if it were you visa versa and you were laying in bed w/ your best friend and always hanging out together doing everything together what do you think it means?
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (3 June 2010):
 He's most definitely cheating on you, and basically telling you so. What straight man would stay at another woman's house, especially one he was once and likely still is attracted to, and sleep in the same bed with her for any reason other than sex?
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A
male
reader, 66fixitnow +, writes (3 June 2010):
unfortunatly deer your boy friend is playing you for a chump. he is haveing his cake and eating it to .yes he is doing her and you and will probly keep doing this until you leave him or tell him to leave you alone .he thinks you are just plian stupid and un fortuneitly you keep leting him get away with this just put your foot down .
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 June 2010):
Well he has mucked it up. I wouldn't trust him at all. Maybe he has cheated, maybe not. But there is no way anyone should have to put up with this. Better get rid of him and find a man who will actually commit. His actions all scream that either something is going on, or he wants it to.
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A
female
reader, Charleybabes0811 +, writes (3 June 2010):
You need to confront him of how you're feelingg..
It may be that she's just more of a sister to him now.
Also, think about why they broke up. It helps to know so you feel more secure. If he says he doesnt know why, then either he cheated or he doesnt see a reason why they shouldnt be together.
If it seems like a valid reason then he probably doesnt feel the same about her anymore...
Hope ive helped, and hope it works out :)
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