A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:As My Girlfiend Cheated On Me or am i being silly?last night my girlfriend planed a night out with some work friend's. she went out 9.30pm she was going to the night club down town. i agreed she could go i give her money 2 go.at 3am the night club shut she txted me at 3.30 to say she was going back to one her friend's houses (she live's so close) and she asked me if she could go. i didn't want her to go but i felt if i said no she would of come home moaning at me. so i said yeah to 4am.i txted her at 4am to say u order a taxi to come home it know's it only a lil walk i didn't want her walking at 4am to our house. she txt me back saying " i'm staying over " so i txted her saying y? but then i thought let's ring her and ask her.as i belled her she was sending me a txt and pressed the pick up the phone button and she said " oh my god he's just belled me " and than i heard a lad's voice say something - i think. i dunno now. and when i txt her asking who's the lad's voice was she kept putting the phone down on me and ignore my call'sat 5am she turned her phone off. it's now 10am and still her phone is not on. sould i be worried or could the voice be a deep voiced women?any help would be great.
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (11 December 2006):
 Sweetie, you have NO TRUST WHATSOEVER in this girl and you will always be looking for an indication that she has betrayed you.....and the sad thing is even if she has not you will find it. Thats because you WANT to find it. Move on with your life. I do think you are a control freak, I am sorry but that is an opinion. Why would you make her promise to come home anyhow? Is she a minor. Is she not an adult? C'mon!!
I DO think something may have happened but I don't know if it is what you are thinking, maybe she just wanted some freedom and space?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate -
Next Day.
everything seem's to be going great. she deleted her sent message's out of her phone and guess what she's no longer hideing it from me. that's werld something i forgot Yeserday was i went in to the room at 5pm 2 wake her up 4 tea and i open my phone and she jumped up and made show her phone was still under her pillow. that was so werld.
now she want's to work overtime at work (she hate's work) but she think's she needed's to do this because she want's the money. she doesn't need money what so ever. i told her she doesn't need the money and she's not doing it now. but still what's @ work she want's to stay 4 i'm asking.
do u all still think i'm crazy?
i'm no control freak!
this is how i look at this
i asked her before she went out not 2 go back 2 anyone's house for any drink's she made a promise to just go out and cum home. she broke that promise that's why i got mad at her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): I'm sorry to say this but, I do agree with the other peoples advice. I do think this relationship is doomed whether she has cheated on you or not.
She clearly needs to be with someone that trusts her and gives her more freedom, and you need to be with someone that is more supportive and considerate of your feelings and needs.
Nothing is going to change that, it would be far less painful for the pair of you if you realise your incompatibilities and go your seperate ways before you end up really hurting, and eventually, hating each other. Just my opinion, good luck with whatever you both decide to do.
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A
male
reader, cherub +, writes (10 December 2006):
 Just a short note to add to all the others answers. I have a very close friend who told me in all honesty(she is worldly wise about relationship issues)that attack is the best form of defense and lie,lie,lie and lie through your teeth unless the other person has concrete proof.
In an ideal,fair and just world,trust and communication are very important then yes your girlfriend would probably said fair cop,I was with another bloke and I am truly sorry or I want to have some fun before settling down,but we are not.Self preservation,maybe scare of losing a good bf,your girlfriend will probably not tell the truth,may it be nothing or something.
She in my reasoning was 90% with another bloke so if you can accept the 10% and forget and get on with both your life then good luck to you(must communicate as a partnership not one sided affair then on).If not move on because it will only eats at you and your relationship.
Hope this helps in some way.
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A
male
reader, is_god_alanis +, writes (10 December 2006):
Just from the fact she has to ask you to 'stay over' or even go out to a club is ridiculous - you're obviously rather controlling and if she was cheating would it suprise you the way you are treat her?
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (10 December 2006):
 Sorry to tell you but it sounds like you got a crappy relationship going. So many problems between you two. Doesn't sound like much respect going on neither. Surely you both want better right?
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (10 December 2006):
Look honey, there is something seriously dysfunctional about this relationship. Chances are you are not going to be together for much longer even if she hasn't cheated 'cos you both have some serious trust issues going on.....as for the'she thinks she has won' comment can you not see how very negative this is. You are seeing what should be a joyful and loving thing as a competition....
you need to TALK to HER!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionupgrade -4ami remembered she txted me i tried to ring her and i heard her say " oh my god he's just phoned " she told me she said " oh my god my battery's runnng low " no she didn't and the guy said " hang up the phone " she told me he was jokeing.now we can't talk about this matter she think's she won. she's been txtin her mate's all morning and now she's guardin her phone like a bat. she sleeping right now and the phone is under her pillow. i was reading on her txt's 2 her brother and she was like " yeah what u looking at "do u think she's got something on her phone she was saying she need's to delete all the sent message's because she's got 2 many.i asked her if she was horny this morning and she said " no why " and told me she give me some before she went out. there's what look like wet patches in her pantie's but she told it's discharge (she always get's it) and now want's a shower.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (10 December 2006):
Something here strikes me as odd, mainly the controlling aspect of your relationship. Why should she ring to ask your permission to stay out? Are you har Dad and she is thirteen? Yes by all means she should tell you that she is staying out as this is only manners, but I think you may have a suspicious personality....what has caused this? Have you been hurt in the past, or has your girlfriend given you reason to doubt her.
Look, if you truly believe she is with some other man and has been dishonest you need to front her out. What is lacking in this relationship is basic communication. Talk to her, but be prepered for hearing answers you may not want to hear if she tells you the truth.
I wish you luck.
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate -
3pm
she say's her battery was diein and wanted to save it till the morning she said she tried her hardest to bell me back but she didn't.
now she's tired because 1 of her mate's had kept her up laffing her head off and the guy (yes there is a guy) is her friend's husband but i still say he sounded young what
sould i do?
now she's not even bothered she was out till 11am this morning i had a go at her and she's mad @ me and now she's want us to stop fighting she want's to move 2 her brother's 4 a week don't see each over and she think it may help because she feel's where in each over's face 24-7
i said " why did u sleep over? " first time in 14 month's she said " i did it before i got with you deal with it " now she's talking about breaking up (was not now) i told her i would drop the matter
i tried to ask question like who was there and stuff she just said " why " i told her if she go's out with them again i'm going she said " why do u wanna cum out now? "
and told me it's kind of a women night
i asked her if any guy's had chatted her up she told me no.
what do u all think?
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A
female
reader, Lytoo +, writes (10 December 2006):
Why did she shut her phone? That's just too weird, I hope she has a plausible excuse especially after saying: " oh my god he's just belled me " . Is it so bad if your bf bells?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): i do really think that sounded extremely suspicious... she never told u it was friend? she never answered u back? i dnt c her point in that. if she wasnt cheating she wud have told u. bt not answering at all makes it worse. if she did or didnt i think she was wrong not to answer you. as for the phone not being on atm, well if she was out the other nyt she might like a long ly in. or mayb her battery has ran out, but im sure if it was important she couldv used her friends. mayb u could ask one of her friends she was out with. ask who the guy was she went away with.if they say she never went with anyone, ask who she stayed over with. or just talk to her about it first of all.she'l have her reasons. could u forgive her if she has?
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