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male
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anonymous
writes: I am a bit of a power freak and I enjoy bossing people around. I am a teacher and I love my job, sometimes I do go little too far but not often. Thing is though, the power thing relates directly to my sexuality. I enjoy bossing students around making them do whatever I want them to do turns me on. Maybe that is weird I am not sure. Not to the extent where I would consider doing anything rash but the arousal is still there. One time I was feeling a little well turned on (not by the students if that is what ur thinking by power) and I asked my girlfriend to dress as well lol in school uniform. She complied at first but later she stopped because she said, "It's wrong and has gotten to a point where is almost disgusting" This really hurt me. Do you think it is wrong that bossing students around turns me on? (they are aged 12-18) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): Bossing others about is not nice and destroys the students confidence. If this is how you behave then you are a nasty piece of work I'm sorry to say.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): that's disgusting you could kill a student just to get sexually turned on!!! i had a really strict teacher and he had the same problem as you and he just smacked people round the head ( this was last year) he got arrested and is in prison!! STOP BEFORE YOU END UP LIKE THAT!!
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A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (11 December 2006):
 Frankly.....lots of teachers enjoy power.....oh yeah...so do Doctors, Lawyers, Judges....PARENTS....business owners, politicians.....police men.....and on and on.
Do they talk about it? um sometimes.
Now your situation is different because it involves minors....children. I can see why your girlfriend was freaked out by that. Teacher also has another roll that must take precedent. Protector. So long as you can keep that feeling Inside....and never allow it to become an obsession....your probably normal...ish.
If you feel you may hurt a child in any way....Change jobs....Don't allow yourself to harm someone you should be protecting.(that's what college professors are for...and they don't really do any harm because their students are at or past the age of consent)
But with minors, Your pleasure would last a moment....them knowing they were betrayed by someone who should have protected them.....that is a lifetime of crap to deal with.
You already are wondering if this is strange....get some counseling to find out for sure.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): When I was at school I was bullied by my male teachers to the extent that it affected my self-esteem and confidence for years afterwards. Fortunately, I dealt with my past and have gone on to be a confident and successful adult but I'll never forget what it felt like in PT (gym) and other sports and how I was ridiculed cos my teacher was an inadequate, senseless, ignorant bozo that couldn't get a job anywhere else cos he was skilless so vented his frustrations on us.
Please think of the legacy you're leaving behind in the life of your pupils. Your power trip should be practiced and vented on adults that if needs be will quickly put you in your place. What you are doing to your pupils is wrong cos they're not YOURS to practice your sexual fantasies on.
Find a psychologist, then get a life.
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (10 December 2006):
 If you don't have a problem yet you are on your way to developing one. You need help and you need to get it fast. I agree with a lot of the other copmments on here. I would like to add tho' that if this is transferring over into your private life and you are not seeing what your partner is - you are going to end up in serious trouble.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): I think i would probably agree with Lytoo.
What is it more specifically that turns you on, that you are bossing around 12 - 18yr old girls, or is it students in general, or is it bossing any one around?
I wonder though if someone who has a sexual attraction to bossing around children AND being a teacher is such a good idea. Was this sexual fetish something that drove you to a teacher? If so that it quite worrying too.
I think, perhaps, you may be in the wrong profession, even if you do never intend on taking this any further with a student. Will you resist any advances if one of these students develops a crush for you? Or will you end up living out your fantasy with them because your girlfriend refuses to do so?
A teacher who gets a sexual thrill out of teaching his students is no different to a doctor who gets sexually excited about talking about sexual problems or examining their bodies with their female patients or even a fireman who is a pyromaniac. You are playing with fire to work in a profession that is fuelling what could be an uncontrollable fire.
I think it would always be best to stay away from distructive desires, this is especially the case when it comes to children and enters the realm of paedophilia. Your girlfriend may pose a risk to you if you ever break up and she is genuingly worried you may have an unhealthy attitude towards children, the same is true if she tells anyone else.
If your fetish is directed towards younger girls then I sugest you make plans to transfer to teach different ages and sexes of students. And if the desire to teach remains no more then I think you've shown you're a teacher to fulfil your sexual desires and for no reason and perhaps a totally different professional is necessary?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): High school kids are very sensitive and smart, and will pick up on
everything. They may feel weird in your class!
Who do you think you are? If I were you, I would see
a counsellor fast, before you do something you will regret.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006):
Frankly, we always suspected it of some teachers.
You should be doing a different job.
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A
female
reader, Lytoo +, writes (10 December 2006):
Well, everybody has phantasies. It only gets bad when all (explicit) phantasies are acted out. The fact that you talk about it is a good thing, but because pedophaelia is somewhat a current affair and you being a teacher -you already expected this- a lot of people will feel uncomfortable about it.
I think however that asking your girlfriend to wear the uniform was a sexy way of finding some outlet. Although I must admit that it might have worried me as well. I hope you don't feel cheated by her because you confided her these feelings and she reacted in such a (disappointing) way. It's a very normal reaction and the best "therapy" I think.
Don't forget: women love to please men they love. In your case and because of the circumstances it might take a bit more time.
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A
female
reader, Juliette +, writes (10 December 2006):
 I think you need help and it is wrong that you get so much, to extent of sexual arousal, out of your abuse of power. Recognising this in yourself is the first step. As for your girlfriend dressing up in school uniform, some would say that is OK, in fact old comedy movies have often portrayed it as such, but now my view has changed. I think it could be the thin edge of the wedge and I can identify with what has turned to disgust in your girlfriend. Behind it are connotations of paediophillia, subtle connections that obviously if being up by your girlfriend during what started out as a innocent dressing up. I am not calling you a paedophile, but I am saying you should explore with professional counselling these feelings you are getting as you could lose the job you love if it gets out of hand. You are in the first stages of what is called 'acting out', and it needs cutting at the bud.
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A
female
reader, Nikita +, writes (10 December 2006):
 Dear Anon,
I have to say i think you have a little problem here and you need to get it sorted, quick before it develops any further. There are lots of things in life that turns on on, form the mundane to the downright weird and as long as it doesnt hurt anyone else then there's usually no problem but being turned on by bossing your pupils around is, for the simple reasons that they are in your charge, you are responsible for their welfare and they are not there for you to get turned on by. I know you say that its not the students but the power that turns you on but that doesnt make any difference. They are your students to teach not to boss around. How do you think their parents would feel about this? I certainly wouldnt like it if my son or daughter were being taught by you. I know im being blunt here but you have to realise that its not really on. If power turns you on then fine because its an emotion that turns alot of people on. You only have to look at people in powerful positions and how it attracts other people to realise that but when you're a teacher, you do have a boundry line that you cant cross. You have to control these feelings and stop bossing them around. You say that you wouldnt do anything rash and I hope not but dont kid yourself that what you're doing now is okay. The more you do it, the more you'll except that its alright and its not. Its not the power thing that's wrong, its using the students as instruments to tune that power. I hope you can understand what im saying and try to control your feelings. If you cant then seek out a counsellor who specialises in this field. Good Luck.
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