A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, I met a girl like two month back and from then we started chatting and talking. I really like her even from the first time I saw her, I decided to take things further slowly(from being friend to relationship). But one thing I noticed is that she never talks about her boyfriend or any male, after sometime in the chatting, talking and this and that. I decided to tease her about her boyfriend on her birthday and then she told me that she had one and they started dating a week back. I was mad because this was the moment I decided to make the bold move. Now I just feel bad and blame myself all day. I later told her how I feel about her though after she confronted me why I declined to come to her party. My friend say I shouldn't have told her1.Did I make the wrong move? 2. Was I the one who delayed? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 May 2019):
 Were you too slow? Perhaps.
She might NOT have seen you as "BF material" but FRIEND material from the get go. Which is why she looked ELSEWHERE for a BF and not to you.
So you might not have had a chance had you asked her out sooner.
Telling someone who is in a relationship that you have feelings for them is kind of unfair as it puts them in a really awkward position. It would have been better if you had saved your "declaration of love" for when SHE was single again or for someone new and single.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2019): There's no purpose or gain to tell someone how you feel after a missed opportunity. It's like making a plea or asking for sympathy. You got it off your chest, but that's about all you would benefit from telling her how you feel. She now has a boyfriend; and it's best to cut your losses and move on.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (30 April 2019):
 Lesson for the future: once you've decided on something, go for it. Nobody can see (or even anticipate) your "intention". It is all about action.
Now you need to sit back and wait to see if this new boyfriend of hers works out. If she stays with him, then you need to stay well away. If things DON'T work out for them, then you will have a second chance. Don't miss out again.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (29 April 2019):
 Yes, you shouldn’t have told her. That’s pretty selfish tbh, she’s in a relationship and has feelings for her partner. She may of liked you in the past or had some feelings but neither of you acted upon them, her BF did, therefore to interfere with her relationship by clouding her judgement telling her you like her is not right.
Let this be a lesson to make the move faster or else you may miss your shot. Move on.
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A
female
reader, ConfusedCarrie84 +, writes (29 April 2019):
Yes you did make the wrong move. She seems like a private person and has no reason to divulge her personal life. To tease her then get mad at her is unacceptable. Who do you think you are? Just because you decided to make the move doesn't mean she is obligated to aligne with you.
You should feel bad and ashamed to be honest.
In reality there is always someone you like who likes someone else. That's just how it is.
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