A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I think its Time to break up with my bf of 4 yrs He is not a bad guy and we had alot of teething problems when we first got together but we fell in love and he moved in with me and my kids. We had a baby together but during the pregnancy he wasnt as suppprrive as he should have been and i was very poorly during the pregnancy. Fast foward.. 2 yrs later there is no relationship between him and my other 2 kids, we are very different people. I noticed that he has no empathy for people and it bothers me alot as does his 1950s view on women. Saying my 13 yr daughter needs to wear bras in the house amd my son needs to toughen up or hel be a weirdo. He has extreme views on different races and i wonder who the hell he is. Polar opposites and now through the personality clashes the lack of support or reliance and lack of affevtion he shows me and the kids ive completely gone off him. Im no longer attracted to him and his backwards views have me lashing out at him. I feel like im going crazy. When i say we should take time apart he gets upset and says he needs us that we are his life and hes so happy. But how can he be happy? Ive started avoiding being around him by making myself busy. My children do the same because they said he annoys them with his forever changing rules. They are teens now and i doubt they will ever get a bond. I wpuld love for it to go back to the first 2 years but now hes a different guy. At the same time i dont want to break his heart. I feel trapped. Like i said hes not bad hes immature and were both very different but i dont thibk i can sanely go through the rest of my life like this.
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fell in love, immature, moved in, no longer attracted, trapped Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 April 2019):
 I think you need to put your kids first and end it with this guy, he needs to be gone.
Your KIDS needs stability, he can't provide that. And then factor in his viewpoints of not only gender roles but also the bigotry - it's JUST not things you should want to have your kids around.
He isn't going to change. He is who he is. And honestly? he probably WAS like this when you first meet him and even the first two years but he hid it, and when he decided to JUST be himself... well, that is when he showed you his asshat side.
I get that you don't want to hurt him, but MOM... you need to put your kids first.
He needs to go.
He might SAY that he doesn't want to and that he is happy but he is making EVERYONE else in the household miserable!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2019): You have 3 children now.
This is not the first time the issue of a teenager wearing a bra has come up in life.
As your daughter is going to become a young lady the wearing of a bra around the house shouldnt be a problem!
As for your son, maybe this man knows exactly what teenage boys can be like and he is protecting him by telling him to toughen up.
His views may come from a bygone era but he isnt expecting you to live in the past.
I think you should see if there are any issues you can compromise on before throwing him to the wind.
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