A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HelloSome advice needed men/women!! I need to know if i have been too forward and ruined things???? Ok i met this guy and we would bump into eachother a lot! he would always come over to speak to me, he would stop what he was doing to come and talk to me, so this went on for a while a few months, then after a few months he asked the whole am i on fb thing, i'm not so gave him my email address. He emailed me as soon as he got back to work, flirty banter and i was flirting back. Then I had to go so told him he could take my number ... he instead replied with his and later that night i gave him a little text ( i'm thinking i shouldnt of done this!) but maybe just logged off my mail and made him wait, so anyway he was texting me back just little innuendos, and i said before he hears any of those he has to at least take me for a drink!! sort of joking but obviously true!!! Is this too forward and would this of been a put off to a guy? as didnt act hard to get! i was just sayin it jokingly. So we've had a few conversations by text/mail since then, him asking me what i was up to on one particular night ... i was genuinely busy so mailed back telling him what i was up to that night and how about him ... he just said he was gonna be lonely so i just logged off and replied the next day asking how the lonely night went!! He was saying stuff like he was hoping i would've helped him out (always innuendos) And now it's come to a bit of a full stop .....?? any advice on this one? Did i ruin it by being jokey at the start instead of letting him chase for a while??
View related questions:
flirt, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Girlgenius +, writes (7 November 2010):
If he wants you because he's lonely, he's not the one for you girlfriend. Unless you like being a back-up girl.
A
male
reader, vampiric_nikolas  +, writes (7 October 2009):
big ron stated it wonderfuly. either he will pursue you or not. maybe you were temporary entertainment. don`t work yourself over him babe.
...............................
A
male
reader, empty-1  +, writes (6 October 2009):
Do you want to have a physical fling, or a romance... You need to figure this out for yourself before you ask him to know!
Flirting is all fine and good, but I think far too many young en and women mistake vulgarity for flirting these days. There is a line that should not be crossed until AFTER you are involved with someone. Banter and humor can go too far, and it sounds as if it may have. Problem being, if you build up his expectations in one way, and then shift gears, he gets confused! We're only men, it happens easily.
I would agree with oldersister. Back off a bit, and see if he contacts you. If after a couple of days, you are getting irritated that he hasn't called or emailed, I would suggest that there's probably a reason for that, but of you must, drop him a line, but make it a straightforward one. Something to the effect of "hey, what's going on? wanna hang out on Saturday?". He will likely respond with a joke, innuendo, or somesuch. Don't reprimand him for it in any way, but don't take the bait either. Keep any flirting for face to face, and keep it to a much more manageable level. Either he will repsond favorably, in which case, he himself may be interested in a romance, or he will respond by trying to up the ante (ok, he'll try that for awhile first no matter what, he's a guy) followed by complete fade away, in which case, he was much more likely interested in a fling.
...............................
|
