A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I changed my doctor last year based on my neighbor's referal. He is good in his profession but I instantly liked him , he is very cute. I also came to know that he lives in the neighborhood. He could guess that I had crush on him. To avoid any misunderstanding ( or rather being sane for myself) I befriended his wife. I came to know taht their marriage is in shatters and he is having affair with his office admin. Now when I see him during my office visits I still feel miserable but don't give any signs of attraction to him. Recently while at a neighborhood gathering he indicated his interest in lounges/ dance bars and commented that I looked like someone he met recently. His wife sent pictures of that lady which turned out to be really ugly. Since I have become friends with his wife and invited them for another big neighborhood event/gatheing at my house, he emailed back saying he 'if we could go clubbing together' . My instant reaction was miss of heartbeat but I replied back saying my husband is not interested in it. I feel so miserable , I don't know how I will face him when he there at my home for party next week. Pl. help , advise. I like him definitely but I don't want to it be any apparent b'cos I don't want to hurt my family , friend and create a bad example in neighborhood OR shall I go ahead and accept that I have a crush- I just want to know if he finds me attractive and if he is interested in me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): Hi.
Pretending that you don't have a crush isn't going to solve anything or make it go away. In fact, in may prolong the crush because you haven't confronted it, dealt with it, or given yourself a chance to get over it.
You can't help the way you feel: no one can. So all that matters is how you handle the crush, which should be in a way that remains completely faithful to your husband. I still think that showing no signs of liking him is a good idea though. You really don't want to stir anything up, Just accept the feeling, remind yourself you love your husband, and deal with it.
Afterall, you can't like the doctor because he's such a good person can you? He's having an affair and looks like he doens't mind starting one with you.
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