A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Okay Uncles(would like a male opinion) and Aunts here's one that I really need advice on quick! My man and I have been together for about 1 year and I'm noticing a few things that are Greek to me, I have no idea why.I understand when it's "new" things are hot and heavy so to speak but should they cool off in a year? I see that he has changed so much but could be me doing to much thinking! Lately he is not as "hard" when we have sex and it doesn't seem to make him as hot, like mad hot sex we had and he seems to just be trying to make me happy. This is going to be a long one but bear with me please...... He used to bring me flowers, hang on every word, look at me with undying love in his eyes, get hard when I even came close to him (no touching needed) This has all come to a screeching halt w/out any reason he can/will give me. Also, says he needs a bit of "aone" time now and then. I have no issue with the "him" time because we all need some of that but it went from having to be near me 24/7 to that and in bed when we sleep he now spens more time not being close to me than ever before. I have asked him about it and it only seems to make him feel bad so I quit saying anything for fear of making him think he's not getting the job done for lack of a better word. I also want to say he's got ADHD and is Bipolar according to him and I can see that sometimes it really gives him a tough time so I try to be supportive and wait it out. He used to speak weekly of us getting married and now he says he's just not ready to do that? It's like he did a 180 on me and I have no idea why, according to him he's not sure why also. It's just all this in a bunch that's making me uneasy and worried. Maybe it's just a normal relationship thing but in my past experience (which may be a bad thing) when these types of issues start surfacing it's a sign there'e something "wrong" like he is unsure of our relationship or there's someone else on his mind. I Love him totally and to be frank I treat him like a "king". He wakes up to breakfast every day, lunch every day and a full supper every night, sex ANYTIME he wants it and doesn't have to lift a finger around the house. Let me add, I do this because I want to not because he demands it and even he has told me this is the Best I've ever been treated and is great to be King. So I ask, what do you think the porblem is?Am I just making something out of nothing and it's just normal relationship up's and downs? Your help is needed fast. Thanks so much for your advice in advance.
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male
reader, charlie p  +, writes (6 October 2009):
No worries, glad to help.
Best of luck, have a great time with him!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your great input, it was a big help.
I know little other than what I have read on being Bipolar and am adjusting to the ups and downs of it, trying not to take things to heart as he really can't control moods with this disease/condition. And, Charlie P, your right, thanks for giving me a guys take on things and helping me understand not everything is an issue unless I make it one :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): What worries me here is that he is off meds,w/bipolar it can be very dangerous.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, he has not taken any medication for the last 2 years due to the side effects. Says his mind races 24/7 and has trouble sleeping.
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A
male
reader, charlie p +, writes (6 October 2009):
Well, the honeymoon period is over. Is that an expression you have in the US? There's nothing wrong with alone time. The fact that he's not sure about marriage is, in a way, positive. He isn't rushing into things. It's not a 180, he's just adjusting to normal life...all the flowers can't keep coming everyday.It's important to understand that life is like this. Keep positive, and yes, I think you are making a bit of a big deal about it to be honest.
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