A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just found out that I am pregnant and my husband and I are thrilled! We are still very early on in the pregnancy but wanted to share the news with our best friends, who are also married and were expecting their second child. Unfortunately, the day we were going to tell them, they had a miscarriage and we decided to put off telling them our good news as we thought it to be really inappropriate. Eventually we are going to want to tell people about the baby, but we don't want this particular couple to hear it from anybody else other than ourselves. How do we tell them and when? I really feel torn here because I know they'll be happy for us, but I know that this couldn't come at a worse time. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): I just wanted to let you all know that we told the friend and she and her husband were thrilled for us and are helping us out a lot with this pregnancy. Thank you so much for the support!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): Thank you! I know I should take my own advice sometimes but it is nice to hear it from someone else :)
I have my first appointment in 4 weeks, so i'll be 10 weeks at that point, so i'll see what happens at that appointment and go from there with how to tell people maybe 4 weeks after that.
Thank you so much!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 In addition to what celtic_tiger said, I hear it was 4 months before people usually tell. My friend waited until she was in 5th month to tell people. Others I know have also waited around 3-4 months before sharing the news with even their own family. It is best as most miscarriages happen in the first months. And miscarriages are unfortunately common. I wish you the best, take care of yourself and the life growing in you now, before telling anyone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2010): Thank you! I actually have 2 children already and didn't want to tell anyone at all until 3 or 4 months anyway, but I just wondered whether it was good policy to tell these guys a little sooner because with things like facebook and twitter now all I have to do is tell 1 person with a big mouth and the world knows and I look like a horrible friend.
Thank you so much for taking the time.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Well, usually people do not tell anyone until the pregnancy has got past a few months. Those early days things are still very fragile, and the majority of miscarriages happen in this time. So if you have only "just" found out you are pregnant, maybe it is wise not to tell ANYONE just yet.
This waiting period of say 3 months gives you and your partner, and maybe parents to get your head around the news. It will also give your friends time to grieve and regroup, then your news will not be such a blow to them.
I know you want to rush out and tell the world how happy you are, and CONGRATULATIONS on being pregnant, but maybe just wait, just in case. :)
All the best
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Awww, you're a good friend, I'll just say that!
Give it a couple of weeks to a month. Tell your immediate family and people who aren't in contact with your friends now, but then wait a bit.
After a month or so, they will be in a better frame to rejoice with you, and they'll think you're great to have waited a little out of respect for them.
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