A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys. I went on a night out, and I have a male best friend who is four years older than I am. Now before he knew I was planning to have a night out, he claimed to not be going out this weekend. Yet somehow he managed to be in ever single place I was. At the end of the night we went to our last pub, and his best friend seen me, and came over for a chat. We ended up talking until the pub closed, and walking for a taxi along with my male best friend. Whilst waiting a friend of mine said he would walk me home, so i agreed said my goodbyes and went. When I got home I had texts asking if I had gotten home alright, so i said yes. Then the tone changed, to what seemed like, to be honest, a jealous one. He started asking questions like did he treat me alright, when i questioned why he'd said that, because he doesnt know my friend to judge how he would have behaved towards me, he denied implying what he clearly had implied and said he was just checking he wasnt awful with me, then once i explained the situation between me and the friend that walked me home which is that were just friends, his tone changed again, but then by saying at least he was nice etc etc.I don't question what he gets up to, never. So why does he feel the right to ask me about what I got up to? Nothing did happen on the way home. But why basically imply that something had went on, when he knows me better than what he was implying may had possibly went on. I don't know whether to be annoyed at what he was implying or to be grateful of having someone being protective. Opinions please.
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female
reader, Just Gill +, writes (7 August 2012):
 You have been friends with him for several years, unless something in the past has happened with you and him then i would imagine it was a protective response. But there was that question he asked 'was he awful to you?' thats strange to text a a person, unless again something happened that night to make him think that way. I suggest to ask him the next time you see him in person. At least then you can see his response in the flesh. body language can say alot! Bring it up casually in conversation when your alone!
A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (6 August 2012):
 Men and women can't be friends. Sorry, it is just a fact of life. If this was a colleague, a neighbor, or such, yes, then men and women can be "friendly" but not "best friends". If a man is your "friend", he is likely interested in you for more unless he's gay. Some will say that it is possible for men and women to be friends. Honestly, I have never seen it and don't expect to. If it's true, one of the people involved is suppressing feelings. Now I have neighbors and colleagues I see occassionally for dinner or drinks, but we are not friends let alone best friends.
Your friend has probably been interested in you for awhile, but has never mentioned it to you as he probably believed things were going along smoothly. Now that you're venturing out, he probably doesn't like it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo he doesn't have a girlfriend, & to be honest guys and gals I thought my friendship with him was strictly platonic. We've been best friends for a number of years now. Honestly don't know what to think.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 August 2012):
 "Hey Mark, I've been wondering about something. You seem very concerned for my social life and safety. Why is it you are so nosy about that? I get that you may be concerned for my safety but you are get extremely nosy and seem to be acting out of jealousy.
"At this point in time, you and I are not in a relationship other than friendship and implying that something went on with my other friend is really over the top. I don't ask you to account for your time and attention and I wonder why you appear to pushing those boundaries with me. It feels inappropriate/pushy/annoying/[whatever word fits best].
Jealousy is a very nasty emotion. It's based in fear and insecurity as well as showing a controlling nature. I would be very cautious with this guy.
Does he have a girlfriend, by any chance? If he wants to date you, he knows how to reach you and ask you out, right?
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (6 August 2012):
It sounds like he was a bit jealous that some-one else was walking you home and making sure you got back safely, which he as your best friend felt that he should be doing. That does seem a little childish, but remember it’s not just within relationships that people can be possessive. People can be possessive over their friends too. The other possibility is that he may have feelings for you, do you think this could be the case?
Whatever the reason, if he does it again you should just cut the conversation off by telling him that you’re more than capable of working out who can be trusted and who can’t and that you know what this person is like. That way you’ll make it clear to him that you have a confidence in your friend that his jealous questioning won’t undermine and that will take away his reason for questioning how you were treated and what you got up to. If that technique doesn’t work and he still questions you in a way that you’re not comfortable with, you’ll have to confront him and tell him that you’ve been unhappy with his actions.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (6 August 2012):
 This sounds more of a jealousy thing than a protective one, by the sounds of it he may have quite strong feelings for you and not in a friendship way
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