| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My ex dumped me yesterday because he found out I'd written some nasty things on Facebook which were about him. The thing is, we didn't have each other on Facebook because all it does is create unnecessary problems, especially with jealous people like him. Anyway, the things I'd written were all written in times of anger, hurt, and out of spite, I basically have no really close friends (because of him) and whenever he did something that hurt me I felt like letting it off my chest and my only outlet was Facebook. And I never gave names, or wrote anything explicit, only poems, or song lyrics, metaphors, etc., that reflected my mood.Oh, let me give you the context. We were together for almost 6 years. We had a strong connection and great chemistry from the start. The first year was great, until he started asking questions about my past, and couldn't deal with it. He had always been jealous, but after that he became impossibly jealous, insecure and controlling, to the point I isolated myself from friends, and started avoiding situations to avoid problems, and also started lying 'cause he'd get jealous over the tiniest things. He also criticized me for everything (I guess because of his insecurities), he even made comments about my boobs being too small, about cellulite or other trivial things, which still hurt and I haven't got over. But I tried to understand him and forgave him, and did my best to make him happy. Then at one point I had enough and broke up with him.He begged me to get back together with him. I was single for almost a year and met new friends and felt more empowered, so I took him back on the condition he game me more space and trust. He did for a while, but from time to time herelapsed, called me names and kept criticizing me. In those moments sometimes I'd post things on Facebook as an outlet, 'cause I was just too hurt! I mean even last Friday he called me fat (I'm 5'7" and 143 lbs by the way), and a couple days earlier he had told me I was too tall so I shouldn't wear heels, and it made me look "huge". Now, despite whatever you may think, I'm still in love with him, I miss him and I'mm deeply hurt. I feel bad about what I did, as I was basically living a secret "online" life or whatever, maybe I should have spoken my mind to him more often (tthough he was never willing to listen). He says what I did is far worse than whaterver he's done or said because he never said anything bad about me in public, whereas I was humilliating him publicly.So now my self esteem is beyond the ground, not only do I feel ugly because of all the things he ever said about my body (that my boobs were too small, that my celullite was ugly, that I'm fat, that I'm too tall and "huge"), like no guy will want me because let's face it, most guys like tiny, skinny girls with big boobs and thin thighs... but also because I feel like even though he did many hurtful things, I'm the bad guy, like he'll never realize how awful he was to me, and I wish he did! People tell me it's better that now it's over, that I shouldn't look back and that I shouldn't care about what he thinks but I do, I feel like I need closure... and even if they say I shouldn't take his word or criticicisms about my body I can't get over that either, I feel like a gross monster! So what can I do? How can I pick myself up again? And what do I do if he calls?
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boobs, broke up, facebook, get back together, insecure, jealous, self esteem Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Hennessy1989  +, writes (6 August 2012):
 U said how much better you felt when you broke up, this man is making you miserable, as hard as it may be I think you know what you have to do, you have to leave this person for good, for your own well being
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 August 2012):
 You are not fat. Men like women with meat on their bones. It's not about your appearance. He is insecure himself and finds a need to put you down to feel better himself. You don't need a guy like him. Don't pick up the calls. So far I have not found a way to block calls but what you do is assign a ring tone to his number. Go to a quiet place and record nothing. Out of sound, out of mind. The best closure you need is persistance to no contact, forever.
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