A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Since we were born, I was best friends with these two girls. As close as possible, you can't even imagine. Things went smooth for 14 years, and then we graduated middle school. The two of them went to the same high school and I went to a different, smaller school. Around the time that we graduated middle school, they stopped talking to me. It was gradual. We talked every day, then a few times a week, then not for months. Now we never talk unless I start the conversation, and it's devastating.The two of them are still best friends and like to flaunt that all over Facebook and instagram. I have made tons of friends in my new school that I'm very happy with. It's just sad when they can't hang out because they're hanging out with their childhood best friends and I can't.One time I called one of them and we decided to hang out. I was so excited! The morning of the day we were supposed to hang out, I texted the girl asking what time she should come over and she told me she already had plans. I was so upset.I honestly don't know what I did wrong. None of us have ever had a real fight with each other and we never had any problems. I want t be friends with them so badly but I've tried dozens of times and they constantly ignore me or blow me off.Is there anything I can do to change their minds? I was thinking of confronting them about it but I've never had to confront then, ever, and I think that would have a negative effect.
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (7 August 2012):
 If I were you, I would just unfriend them, only because seeing them is making you miserable. You don't need to have that misery in your life, just get cut out that kind of cancerous energy.
In my experience, every change in school (elementary to middle, middle to high, high to college, even college to graduation) involves people reevaluating who they are, who they want to become. People try to reinvent themselves, people try on new personas, and some friends are just cast away in part of their growing process, like moths shedding their cocoons.
I understand how devastating this is. It happened to me regularly when I was growing up. The best thing you can do is appreciate what you had, and try not to be too bitter, because they really probably don't mean to be mean, they're probably just so concerned with themselves they don't realize what they've done to you. And at this point, you've drifted too far away from them to even try to tell them it's hurting your feelings.
The best thing you can do is to continue growing these new friendships you've started and being happy with others. Only a few friends will stay with you for a lifetime. You thought these were the girls, but that doesn't mean there won't be others. There are girls in my life that I only talk to probably once a month, or twice a year but I still feel like they are my sisters. Maybe someday these girls will come around, they know your number if they care to change their minds.
But it's not worth the wait.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 August 2012):
 I think they felt they went one direction and you another (with schools and all) so it happened gradually. You didn't do anything wrong, you all just grew apart.
If you feel like they are rubbing it in on Facebook and whatnot, hide their updates.
Stick to the friend you have now made. These aren't friends any more, their choice. It some times happen.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 August 2012):
 You didn't do anything wrong. It's because they have forgotten the closeness and just have fallen into the craziness that teen girls get up to... It's sad, some girls do this, forget about their friends who aren't with them every day.
I expect if they weren't going to the same school, they'd have done the same thing to each other. It's a proximity issue and alas, there's not much you can do about it. It sounds like you are doing a very good job making friends and moving on.
I would keep in touch as best you can but don't expect too much from them. The good news is that you have held up your end and that is all you can do. They have to reach back to you and if they aren't doing that, that doesn't mean you aren't a wonderful person. It means they are forgetful and self-absorbed. It's very common at this age. Even grownups do this! Though teenage girls seem to be the masters at it.
I would start posting your own amazing pictures and your own amazing adventures with your new friends and basically let it be known that you are way too grownup and mature to lower yourself to the little games they are playing.
Good luck with your new friends and your new adventures!
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