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male
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anonymous
writes: I have recently come out of a 5 year relationship and now I'm having real trouble living the single life...It has been 3 months since we broke up, although we have had several "relapses" since then, we are both sure that the relationship has to end.I have since tried to get on with my life and try seeing other people, but have never really led a single life, moving from one long term relationship to another. I am finding it difficult.I have always been a very confident person, I act on stage and am well known for being a "party animal", but when it comes to going "on the pull" I'm completely useless!And even when I have been successful and actually taken a girl home with me I've been so nervous I havn't been able to perform...Sex with my ex was always very good, so I'm not sure what I'm actually nervous about, any help?!
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (6 July 2005):
It's obvious you are a creature of habit and routine.You are comfortable with long term relationships & commitment.I would suggest SHAKING up your pattern a bit...add the spice of Variety...without sex !Date several ladies for a few months but NO SEX.Have fun, be romantic, laugh alot, dance, flirt & live in the moment.Just for a short time...savour being single.Then when you least expect it, a special lady will catch your eye and you can begin to court her slowly.When you feel totally comfortable & at ease with her, your sexual performance will be uninhibited & you'll soar like an eagle !One last bit of advice...when you end a relationship...END IT...don't go back for leftovers...it creates indigestion!Fresh start...new outlook...relax, smile & be positive !
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reader, becky05 +, writes (5 July 2005):
You said "when youve been successful and taken a girl home with you" sounds like going on the pull for you is having one-night stands. Try to get to know women on more of a social level, build a friendship and trust before you have a serious relationship again. Play the field for a while and enjoy the single life.Dont have anymore relapses with your ex as this will just hold you back from moving on.
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reader, Matt,20 +, writes (5 July 2005):
Hi there,It's very hard to give an straight answer as the facts are limited, but what I can advice you on is the moving " on " .Long term relationship may be very hard to leave behind, specially such as yours, 5 years. First you said ...* I am finding it difficult. then...* I'm completely useless and then ...* I'm not sure what I'm actually nervous about.There different types of emotions, which makes me think that you are confused, you think your self as useless and things become difficult and then you become nervous...the entire thing of leaving such a relationship behind is getting to you, which is normal, it may be a few months ago that ended but deep inside you it feels like yesterday.What I would recommend you to do is, whenever you meet a new man, don't compare him ( even thou you didn't say it that you do, but is very common ) to your Ex.You said you are on the stage, you meet and see a lot of people, I can imagine you have a huge social life, but if not, then make it happen, go out and do different things.things that a single person does, hangout with yout girl friends and you will see that time will heal everything, I really do feel terribly sorry for such a long relationship ended this way, but you made it sound like if it was going nowhere and the you did the best choice, now you have to keep it up and never think you are useless, think positive and go out, have fun, smile and when you least expected, you will find your self in a complete new life, that will show you more doors to be opened and to explore....Girl, Enjoy *** Smile *** and think only the best of you!Matt,20.
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