A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,My partner of 9 months recently broke up with me.I lived out of home and he stayed every night from the day we started seeing each other then he moved in we decided to move somewhere else together so we did then we got engaged. all of a sudden his family started getting involved, then we started constantly fighting. we broke up and i moved out and he had told me we could try being together but not living together and i asked why the change of mind he said because he realises how nice i can be so i left him some of my stuff to help him out as he wouldnt have much.. then i got upset because he didnt appreciate me leaving it and never thanked me then all of a sudden he wouldnt answer my calls or messages at all the night moved out. then he tells me that i have been harrassing him and to leave him alone and for me to move on and start seeing other guys, this is only after 4days i ask if there is someone else he says no he wants to have his own time.. so i have decided to let him be and let him go i wont contact him and im going to start going out then in 2.5weeks ill give him a call to see if he wants to come help me out with a laptop as he said he would.. and maybe he'll realise he misses me. however im worried if i leave him be he'll move on or he'll like not being with me. he still tells me he loves me but doesnt care anymore :( i dont know what to do as i want him back bad!! HELP!!!
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female
reader, just a female  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 i think the best thing to do here is act calm. your not with him at the moment so dont over do it when he might just be coming back into your life. go meet him, be nice me friendly. talk just be your self. he will like that better than you freaking out over him. this is what you have been waiting for, play it cool and all the best!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim seeing him tonight i havent messaged him for four days then couldnt take it, i then messaged him saying hey how are you? just wondring do i have any mail? he said hey im good thanks. how are you? i only have the mail i told you about on the phone last week. im like Im great thank you!! can i get the mail from you sometime if i could meet you somewhere or pop past? and he said yeah not a problem i can meet you tonight if you like? im like yeah were would you like to meet? he said give me a call when your done work. so i dont really know how to act im really scared!! AND I MISS HIM!! but i am not going to go and cry to him i have finally got hold of my emotions HELP!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I guess I'll have to keep my head high, start going out, having fun with my friends and seeing where that gets me, then contact him in two weeks time and see if he is still keen to catch up and then let him be again and see if he ever contacts me :/ But I think once I get the laptop, that will be the last, but if im friendly and polite and happy and act like the break up hasn't affected me, then he might realise.
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A
female
reader, just a female +, writes (3 February 2011):
ok, it might happen, you never know, right?
but the thing is how long do you wish to wait for him untill he relises he was with a great girl?
to love someone it seems takes away your choices (in a way)
so i can see how you dont want to let this guy go, or you cant.
your right about going over board with the txts, you may have scared him of. but hopefully he will come back!
otherwise you may have to let him go, that would be the worst outcome, but it would be better than waiting for him for ever right?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you heaps!!
i'm not ready to move on im not coping at all im only 20 he is 26!! his parents will always run all there kids life!!
He called me last night we spoke like normal he has said he'll come shopping with me to buy my laptop when i have the money. then messaged me today saying was so good to talk to you last nihgt but i dont want to hear from you until your ready to go shopping i went off and started letting my emotions in and continued to harras him which made him say im not coming back to you and your losing the friendship!! i should have just not replied instead of over reacting.
I am so deeply in love with him its so hard!!
do you think if i dont contact him until im ready for shopping and we catch up and then wait another two weeks and catch up slowly like that it may change?
however he might not even want to catch up with me.. but he said he'll help me with the laptop!!
IM SO UPSET!!
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A
female
reader, MaryB  +, writes (3 February 2011):
I hate to say this & I know this is not what you want to hear but, you both are still very young & both your ways of thinking will change many times in the next few yrs. That is life. I think you both moved too quickly without really getting to know each other. He allowed his parents to interject into your relationship which may be an indication of his immaturity. I think the best thing for you right now would be to step back, take a breather & figure out where your life is headed. Let him do the same. If you two are meant to be together it will happen but, not by trying to force it. By saying that he loves you but, doesn't really care sounds to me like he really doesn't fully know what being in-love means or being in a loving relationship with another person means. That is okay though, he is still young & has a lot of living & learning ahead of him as do you. If he was mature enough he would not have allowed other people to dictate how he should feel or act which he apparently has done. Yes, getting your heart broken is painful & it feels like the end of the world but, you will survive & this will make you a stronger person. You can only depend on yourself to make you happy not, him. I wish you all the best- move on to a happier life with your head held high. Take care!
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (2 February 2011):
 Move on if he's flip flopping like this now it wont change. You deserve better so go out and find him.
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A
female
reader, just a female +, writes (2 February 2011):
ok your in a bit of a mess here.first of all he should have said thank you to you for leaving behind some stuff for him.you say you still love him and that he says the same to you but says he does not care? well to love someone it means to care. He cant have it both ways, he either loves you or he doesnt. he shouldnt be stringing you along like this.he needs to sort himself out, does he wan to be with you or doesnt he.if he wants to go and he doesnt want to be with you anymore then im afraid the truth is you will have to move on from him. thats the only way it can be if he decided he does not love you any more and does not care. however if he decide he does love you and he does care then you two need to sit down and talk about where your relationship is going. why did you two let the parents get in the way of making it work? maybe if cracks started forming as soon as you had our own place then maybe your not right for eachother?what you need to do is ask him how he really feels so that you can let go and move on if thasts how it happens.hope that helpsxxx
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