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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: When men eye me they often say: "You're in shape." Sometimes this is said in the context of meeting me on a run or when I'm at the gym. Sometimes it seems they say it with a competitive nuance. However, some men will say this when we are out or after we've just met each other which throws me off.Can a man translate this for me?I take care of myself. I do weight train and although I do have some definition, I wouldn't call myself "muscular". I am tall, but average build. I am not petite. I am not androgynous. I do have breasts and a little fat in the right places. I have shoulder length hair. I don't mind being "sporty", but I suppose my worst fear is that men find me butch. I will wear a dress or skirt occasionally, but I find if I am slumming in jeans, I get stared or hit on by lesbians quite often. Once a woman who looked like an Elvis impersonator literally came up and pinched my butt. Not that they should, but I wonder sometimes, why no man has yet to do that or why they aren't as forward as the lesbians.Men have commented that I am a bit aggressive in bed, though they didn't seem to mind at the time. I guess I'm worried that I'm coming off as butch. "You are in shape."Translations?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): I don't see any need for translation here. Guys that I know say what they mean. Translation: you're in great physical condition. Don't borrow trouble.
A
male
reader, empty-1  +, writes (2 February 2011):
"you are in shape" translated to one of two things:1: I'm into fitness myself. I'm not as in shape as you are. I'm jealous of your mastery of your own health and physique.2: I wish to hell I could believe that you're not lightyears out of my league. I'm attracted to you, and would love to actually make a real pass, but I'm completely convinced you're going to shoot me down in a martian minute, and I don't deal with rejection so well. The reason lesbians are sometimes so much more forward (this is certainly a very broad blanlet statement that is obviously not meant to be universally applied) is because they can get away with it. Think about it. If I were randomly passing a woman in the mall, and by way of trying to tell her I dig her look, I pinch her bottom, not only will she slap me, but I can end up in jail or paying fines for sexual harassment and / or assault, depending on the jurisdiction. On the other hand, if another woman pinches her but, the worst that's going to happen is she'll get a weird look or a "what the f__k?!".Thus, most guys don't go around actually pinching bottoms anymore. Hell, most of us are afraid to whistle anymore. It used to be seen as a compliment, but the far wing of feminism that is more about domination that equality has battered the image of what it is to be male so thoroughly in modern society that even a simple whistle is rioted down as sexist, piggish, objectifying, belitteling, etc.
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