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female
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anonymous
writes:I went into the room that my bf was at and caught him masterbating. He had pictures taped on the wall, all of them with blonde hair. (his ex gf has blonde hair) He got upset with me, like I was interupting him!! I went out of there real fast. Was he fantasing that he was with her? I was kinda upset with the whole thing and felt ignored!! What should I think?
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male
reader, Barry Bottle  +, writes (3 November 2009):
My wife has a friend (and I MEAN a friend not myself) who was caught in the act of spanking the monkey by his parents. I can't imagine anything more embarrassing personally.
Anyway to the matter in hand - I concur that there is probably absolutely no significance in this with regards your bf's ex. It's galling that some men find blondes visually more immediately stimulating, but marturbating is in a different category to the real thing. It is a compulsion rather than anything else - like a dog humping another dog. A male dog may choose a golden retriever over a black labrador or they may not - it's meaningless. All that glisters is not gold!
A
male
reader, Leroy +, writes (27 January 2009):
Hello, sorry about your situation but i will have to tell you, when men masturbate, they always do it with a lot of meaning and desire. Well ill tell you a little story, about my EXgirldfriend Jasminne Longash (RIP) lol. Jasminne was a blone, and even to this day even though we split up five years ago i still make an effort to find blonde girls on internet porn (www.youporn.com/blonde_slags/exgirlfriend_reality_fuck) when masturbating because it means so much more. Sorry if this doesnt help.Yours Faithfully, Professer Leroy Postlebostle
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): I was taking a shower just this morning and when I came into the bedroom to get dressed there was my boyfriend jerking off! I guess I don't really know what to think. Obviously people have needs and it was my TOTM (time of the month)which I have a no sex policy at that time. As for your bf and his ex. I guess you would know best if he has feelings for her. Does he bring her up a lot? Still have mutual friends?
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female
reader, fairhalflin  +, writes (8 January 2007):
 he overreacted and he just felt embarrised...egh, dont worry its nothing to dwell on. i dont think he was thinking of her...just bc the pic of the chick was blonde doesn't mean that it was his ex...dont worry...its nothing too big.
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female
reader, I can solve any problem +, writes (5 January 2007):
all guys do it and he probly got anoyed out of embaresment n just because the girls were blonde doesnt neceseraly mean anything to do with his ex it might be somrthing to do with the fact that only most blondes are dumb enough to pose naked cuz most ov em are bimbos leave him to it its natural n nothing to worry about
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (4 January 2007):
 Firstly a lot of PEOPLE masturbate --not just men. Secondly this is a normal natural and physical urge that cause no harm to the individual. Some people are turned on visually, some mentally thru the written word and some thru listening.
Secondly, you sound young both of you....how old are you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for your reply to my question! I just had to get that off my chest!! I should realize that guys look at porn alot differently than us girls. Thanks again for your answers!
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male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (4 January 2007):
 Lilly,
Only one. LOL.
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female
reader, Lilly223 +, writes (4 January 2007):
 You may be right, Ponungalungb, there may be more to this story than we are hearing. I applaud you for being a chef and whipping up cake at a moments notice. My point in the cake analogy is, not all guys want to make the effort the moment they get the urge. Sometimes it just feels good to get off, simply because it feels good. Some guys have a high sex drive and want to get off more than their girlfriends are willing to tolerate. Some guys masterbate before sex so they will last longer for thier girlfriends later... there are a multitude of reasons WHY he may have done this... but none of those reasons are one that she should feel upset about. That was why I used the cake analogy. We weren't really discussing that he would RATHER masterbate than be with her, just the the fact that he was masterbating. I think you took my post a little too seriously, I was attempting to make a generic comment about the whole thing. And I will tell you why in a way that is meant to be light and humorous. I believe my relationship expierence with men and thier masterbating habits allows me to pass on this information and it makes me a good person to offer an opinion/advice..... there are as many different masterbation habits/reasons as thier are masterbation techniques. Yeah, I am sure guys do share thier private masterbation policies with other guys, but it is the women in thier lives that get to experience them first hand. I personally have expierenced more than one guys masterbatory habits... how bout you? :)
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male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (4 January 2007):
Sorry Lilly, but I have to disagree with your cake analogy. If I have a woman in my life, and things are going well, I enjoy preparing the ingredients, mixing the batter, and frosting the cake. You see it's not really work if you enjoy it. Contrary to some women's belief, all men aren't just about getting their rocks off. If that were the case, why would men get involved with women at all? They'd sit home, watch TV, go to work (maybe), and beat off. But that's not the case.
This man wants to please the woman he loves . . . any hour, any day, any way. Wasting energy on a self-inflicted orgasm doesn't match up. I think there is more to the writer's story than we know.
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female
reader, Lilly223 +, writes (4 January 2007):
I'd imagine that he was pretty embarassed about being busted. There is a difference between doing it by your self and mutually masterbating with a partner... ya know? A different mind set in the whole situation is needed. As for the pictures, they were just tools to help the process along. Men are visual and I imagine that the blonde hair issue was the last thing on his mind at the time. He was probably thinking of something other than hair color at that moment. Would you be thinking of hair color at that moment? He did not do this to hurt you, and jealousy over an ex is a common thing, but remember, he is with you (that is why she is an ex) and I know I'd certainly rather have my man home masterbating to pictures than looking for the real thing somewhere else. I'm sure this was shocking and you may feel like "If he needed to get off sooo bad, why didn't he approach me?" It's more complicated than that. Sometimes a guy just wants to get off with out any of the effort involved with having sex with a female. Compare it to a really big craving for chocolate cake... do you want to make the effort to make one at home from scratch, go to the store, buy the crap to make it, mix it up, bake it, cool it, frost it, and then eat it, or would you rather go to the bakery, buy a slice, and eat it on the spot. Both are chocolate cake, one is just a lot more work than the other.
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male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (4 January 2007):
Why is he spanking his monkey when he has you around? That would be my question to him. If he's satisfying himself and not you, then you've both got a problem that needs to be addressed.
I doubt if he was fantasizing about his ex. It seems to me that most playmate type models are blond . . . if only from a bottle.
Good luck!
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female
reader, Miss trust +, writes (4 January 2007):
 Firstly all men masterbate, at least most of them anyway so it is perfectly normal that you caught him in the act.
Secondly just because the people were blonde doesn't mean he is thinking about his ex, he is with you and not her so just remember that.
However he should have been less annoyed at the fact that you had walked in on him. If this happens again you need to talk to him about it.
Good luck
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