A
female
age
41-50,
*till Searching
writes:How long after you date a guy for him to know that he is ready to be in a committed relationship or dating u exclusively? What does it mean if he say, "You may not know it. But, you may already like me. We seem to click and should be in a relationship. But, I don't want to be committed. I don't want to hurt you if I am going to start dating someone else." We made out on Friday night. I texted him to say thank you for spending time with me. Also, letting him know that I needed a friend that night. However, I haven't heard from him. The week prior, we texted back and forth daily....So what does this mean? If he doesn't ask me by valentine should I move on. Or I should move on and not go out with him even if he ask me out for valentine?
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female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (11 February 2010):
Honey, it's pretty straightforward. This man has clearly said he's not interested in commitment. If you are, then you should tell him you are, and let him know thank you but it doesn't seem like we want the same things. Then move on. in fact that's probably what you should have said immediately after he told you what he told you, because to be honest making out with him and then thanking him for spending time with you just sounds like you were totally cool with all of it. Clearly you aren't.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (11 February 2010):
 Read this sentence:
"I don't want to be committed. I don't want to hurt you if I am going to start dating someone else."
He is being very clear and honest by saying he does not want a committed relationship and will be dating other women as well as you. If you are happy to be in a casual relationship where you are seeing other people then fair enough, but if you want a man to be 100% committed to you then this is not the guy for you.
This man can clearly see you are starting to fall for him and he does not feel the same way - hence why he said all that to you and hence why he has stopped contacting you, because you are getting too close to him when all he wants is a casual bit of fun.
I say you should move on and keep on dating other guys until you find a man that does want a committed relationship, rather than a casual one. This guy you are talking about is not waiting around for you - he is dating other people so why should you wait around for him?!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (11 February 2010):
 It means exactly what he said. I give him credit for being straightforward. He doesn't want to be exclusive, he wants to date others. And since he hasn't contacted you, perhaps he is doing just that. I wouldn't be waiting by the phone for his calls, and definitely go out with other guys.
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