A
female
age
41-50,
*nchanted27
writes:Dear cupid,I am a 27 year old woman, virgin, and has never been in a relationship. My longest relationship was for 2 months. Every time I meet someone, I freak out and end the relationship. I hate this about myself. This is the one thing I am missing in my life, and I truly feel like I have a hole in my heart for never having felt something for someone. A great way to describe me is like Josie in the movie "Never Been Kissed." I've only even kissed a man a few times, and I've done nothing else. I used to say I wanted to wait til I was married, but I feel like I've been using that as an excuse to avoid relationships, not because of my faith. When I was middle and high school, none of the boys liked me, and often played cruel jokes on me. The first encounter I had with a boy was awful, and I was so fearful of being raped it was unbelievable - all I was trying to do was fit in. Then when I finally got my first boyfriend in my senior year of high school, my best friend at the time convinced me to break up with him because SHE didn't like him. I don't know if my fear has stemmed from these experiences so many years ago (I did have another rape scare when I was about 20 years old). How can I get past my fears of being in a relationship? I long for it so much, yet I can't move forward! Please help.
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 February 2010):
I think you need to see a counsellor. You have built this wall around you and you won't let people through because you are fearful of being hurt. You need to find out why it is that you act this way, and the only real way to do that is with counselling.
A
male
reader, Shashi  +, writes (11 February 2010):
dear friend,
my take is that you shud take some professional help and conselling. Whatever has happened in your past is your past, you cannot and must not let it dictate your future. I feel for you, and I know that it is not easy to find the right guy very easily but if you don't even try how will you ever know? Let bygones be bygones and embrace life. Your still only 27 and there's this whole life ahead of you.
by the way you have to try to break the wall of aloofness that you have built around you. You have to allow someone to atleast know you better. Come on, 2 months is really a whiz. Its okay to be make mistakes and be heart broken...basically your life will be enriched even more by these experiences...open yourself. my best wishes. hope u have a wonderful life.
...............................
|
