A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What does it mean if a guy (whose a close friend) says he will "wait" as long as I want for sex?Do you think that he cares more about "just sex" and he actually has feelings/and cares about me?... or does he just want sex only? :S I'm still a virgin... but sometimes his behaviour really confuses me as he treats me like a yo-yo. It's like he has feelings for me deep down, but they only come out when he is drunk! He plays a lot of mind games with me and I have been SOoo hurt before because with this guy. I don't want to get my hopes up again... this has been going on for a year and it's getting really out of hand.
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male
reader, Polite Fellow  +, writes (4 May 2009):
Hi there, just want to say, there is a small chance this guy is a creep. Only small mind you as i don't know him or the full story.Just quickly want to clarify. I'm a virgin, at 24 it can be a bit frustrating. My girlfriend of 5 years is also a virgin. I have told her that i will wait for when she is ready and i have waited ever since. I can tell you now that sex is not the only thing on my mind, i just wanted her to know that i am with her because i love her and not because i want to sleep with her then wander off. I want her to be my partner for life, but i also want to experience sex with her, it would be amazing to share that with the woman i love.So its possible that like me, he was meaning to show his respect, patience and understanding. However, if you know him to be some what of a loose morals kind of guy that sleeps around i say stay well away. If he can't 'wait' for you whilst only being with you then he could just be a bit of a blighter.
A
female
reader, lightningrod247  +, writes (18 March 2009):
if its been going on for a year hed have to be after more than sex, not many grown men want to wait that long.
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A
female
reader, recentlymovedtoSD +, writes (17 March 2009):
I'm glad you demand respect.
If you don't know what he means by "wait", then ASK HIM! I know that's not easy, but it'll get you an answer. No guarantees you'll get the truth, but @ least you did all you could.
AND, if you're NOT sure, follow your instinct. Besides, sex is not all it's cracked up to be, specifically the first time. So be sure about your choice, b/c it's not pleasant to lose something so important to someone that may hurt you.
if he tells you this only when he's drunk, there's a good chance he's telling the truth. BUT what's in question is-- does he mean he'll just wait or that he will do his thing on the side while he waits-- Get your answer. Follow your instinct.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni always damand respect from him, we are very close but his behaviour has really hurt me before.
he has never pressured me. he said he will "wait" but does this mean hel "wait" but will have sex with other people while hes "waiting" on me to be ready
also..im not even sure if i want to lose it to him because i dont want him to hurt me. his hot and cold behaviour doesnt make sense to me, if he has feelings for me id want him to tell me outright and treat me well, not just when he is completely drunk
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A
female
reader, recentlymovedtoSD +, writes (17 March 2009):
Losing your virginity to someone that will possibly hurt you is nothing to risk. I waited until I was 18 to have sex, and I did it simply b/c I wanted to experience it, not b/c someone was pressuring me (the boy I was in love with in HS would constantly pressure me). Like the first answer, PLEASE don't have sex until you are completely sure. Always follow your instinct, if you clearly see he's blowing hot and cold, only blow cold his way. Be patient. He will either stop pressuring you and move on to the next girl (don't be hurt, it happened to me oh so many times), or he will stick with you until you're ready. Be patient. Don't ever let anyone step on your dignity or disrespect you, these two things will define you as a person in life. It'll be hard to cut him off, but you have to do it. Demand respect. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI treat him well, I can't see myself with anyone else. It's him that hurts me by blowing hot and cold.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2009): Don't believe what a guy tells you but go by his actions. If he treats you weird and only shows you he cares when he's drunk then leave him alone. If a guy wants and cares for you he will treat you like a princess. You don't treat him that way so why should he treat you like that.
If you're not sure about him, PLIZ don't give him your virginity coz that will complicate everything..
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