A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello :) well this subject is really kinda hard to explain but i will do it my best. Well first of all im 14 years old i don't go to school anymore because alot of stuff happened some months ago i wont explain what. But now im home-tutored and i only have one good friend, i still here about alot of stuff that happens at my old school and still see alot of people about. Well bascially my area isnt too good and alot of girls my age have already lost their virginity, i do know not everyone has and ovbiously there are gonna be liars but strangly enough im pretty sure that most the girls and boys have lost it. Well my friend is going to be loseing his soon too hes doing it with a close friend and to be honest i can't see how someone my age could sleep with a friend just for fun. i thought you were meant to lose it with someone you love ? or atleast going out with. Well im going to be honest i kinda feel abit bad in away because everyone has done it and im not a sheep and i dont want to do it cause they have but sometimes i just feel kinda ad-normal, i mean most girls round here have had loads of boyfriends and done all that stuff. But i havent even had one proper boyfriend ive made out with a boy before but that was about a year or so ago. I would love someone to go out with, i do belive i am mature enough to go out with a boy, but alot of them around here dont find me attractive. But i just want to know what age do most people lose there virginity ? and am i kinda abnormal. I mean i accept im not great looking but im not like megaly bad. But i do feel really un-wanted sometimes when people talk about there 9th boyfriend or girlfriend i can't look that bad can i ? Could really use some help on this. Thanks
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female
reader, bunnyblueeyes +, writes (5 August 2011):
 I was a month away from my 21st birthday when I lost mine to a gorgeous guy I'd been dating for months. 5 years on we're planning our wedding! Do it when you feel in your heart its right. X
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell first of all thankyou :) i really was just curious because sometimes i just feel so lonely and un-attractive i just wonder weather there is something wrong with me. It really doesnt help either because i dont have any female friends anymore and when you do want to talk about this kinda thing there aint really anyone to talk to.But i am happy that there is someone who felt like me, and i do know that i mustn't do it with just anyone like everyone else have even if i do feel like some kind of social outcast.But thank you for your advice you are right i will probably look back on this and laugh, one day x
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (21 July 2011):
 I was a lot like you. Tons like you! I probably could have written this at your age. And as I recall it was right about then that I decided that I would lose it by the time I was 17. Well, 17 rolled around and it wasn't that I hadn't the opportunities (I was never hurting for long-term/short-term boyfriends), but none of them were "the one". My gut felt like they weren't right. So I decided to screw that stupid vow I had made and just wait until my gut told me that it felt right.
Well, two years later at 19, I met this guy and started dating him. Two months in, my gut was telling me that he was the right one. So I lost my virginity to him. And 6 years later, I'm married to that same guy my gut told me was the right one. Moral of the story - listen to your gut. It is usually always right.
It's totally normal to be a virgin and you'll see that it's actually pretty cool. You're like the elusive diamond in the rough. You're protecting yourself from early pregnancy, STIs and broken hearts. You've got like, 70 years left to enjoy tons of sex with the one you love. This lonely time you might look back on and say, "man I was so lucky... I had all this time for myself!!". Being lonely can suck, but you're young, hot and have energy and opportunities. Use this time to find yourself and love yourself - because when you find true love and happiness within, you can have a much easier time finding love and happiness with someone else.
You don't "look that bad" - a lot of guys are just super excited to be with a chick who they can hook up with and move on. You're something really special and holding out for that special someone. No shame there!! Don't worry, sweetness. There is plenty of time. Good luck!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou :) And i do understand its not i want to just have sex to be coool and stuff. But yanno when ya kinda hear about it it kinda makes you feel abit lonely to know that you havent ever really found anyone special.
I was just wondering because people sometimes take the piss because i havent ever done anything and i was just wondering if its like normal to still be a virgin because i hear all kinds of things.
But thankyou for your advice it was very helpful and i guess your right. I mean most the girls round here they are kinda slutty and yeah i think there are two who are pregnant one 14 and the other just turned 13. I would never want to sleep with someone just for the fun of it and i do strongly beleive you should do it with someone you love.
Thanks for the help x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2011): I was 20 when I lost mine. There is no normal age to lose your virginity it's whatever feels right to you OP. As you said you're not a sheep so don't be a sheep. Do what you want, live your life how you want to live it and how can you be jealous of girls that are off having sex just to impress their peers or lying about it just to fit in?
They're the ones who will be getting pregnant and STD's get used by guys etc. Doesn't exactly sound like a fun competition to me.
Look some people have sex because they feel they need to, because they feel pressured by society and think guys will like them more and respect them for it, it doesn't happen that way for the most part. Who cares about all that nonsense anyway? If you want to wait until you fall in love then do that. Your first love will be really happy that you did because it will mean a lot more, it will be out of love not just because it's what "everyone" is doing.
OP it isn't a competition, you don't become cooler because you've had sex. The only person you're in competition with is yourself so do what you feel best for yourself, always.
Those people who talk about their 9th and 10th boyfriends aren't exactly very good at the whole relationship thing are they? I mean come on OP, 9th boyfriend means 8 failures doesn't it?
Relationships are about quality not quantity. Which would you rather OP, 10 relationships in 2 years or a relationship that lasts two years? If it's the latter then you're doing fine.
Guys are attracted to you and you will find one, just be out there and willing to date and yeah it is far better if you wait until you are ready, and making love for the first time is far better than just having sex for the first time, so wait for that too.
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A
male
reader, Quickthorn12 +, writes (21 July 2011):
well most of my friends lost it when they were 16-18 and ALOT of them lied about losing it before then. i lost mine at age 13 but with someone i really love and im still with them. So i think you shouldn't care if everybody else is doing it. Only lose it to someone that you love and that loves you. The one for you will be waiting for you. You just have to wait and do it when you find the one for you
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