A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HelloSorry if this is long windedI "met" a nice guy online 6-7 weeks ago and we began online chatting, then texting(lots, quite flirty too), email and a few long phonecalls, seemed to get on well and have a laugh, so finally met up two weeks ago (his suggestion) and had coffee and lunch, followed by a drink. We spent about 4 hours together and had a hug and a few pecks on the mouth before leaving each other.He text me a few hours after I got home and after exchanging a few texts he said he had a nice day. I asked him if he wanted to do it again and he said yes. So I proceeded to ask him out again and we decided to meet up at the weekend.Before our second date, I got the feeling he was "cooling" towards me, as the texts and emails were fewer (although he still did text and email, just not as frequent), and also at the beginning the texts always had kisses on, now they dont although not sure if this is even relevant. I appreciate we hardly know each other and we dont owe each other anything, but I took it as a clear sign maybe he had changed his mind, and maybe after meeting me he didnt want to take it further. But then I reasoned that he wouldnt meet me again if he felt like that?Anyway, we met up at the weekend, went out for a meal and few drinks, had a laugh, no awkward silences, and it was fun. At the end of the night I hugged him and he leaned in to kiss me. We kissed passionately for nearly half an hour before I went home. He touched my face and neck and It was really nice. I text him lunchtime the next day to thank him for a lovely night and said I enjoyed it. He text back almost instantly and said he had enjoyed it to. We exchanged a few small talk texts after that.However, I just dont know what to think. I dont want to get all heavy, just wondering what it all means. As I say he always replies to my texts etc, and usually very quickly, but he doesnt often initiate them any more. I have held back a bit on the communication as I dont want to come across as needy or clingy. I think I just really like him, and am confused as to whether he likes me. I just dont want to chase him away, or be hurt either. Help is much appreciated! Thanks
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female
reader, Si Si  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 Dear girl..you just don`t know enough about this mans history or his character. The fact that you had to ask him out for the second date should have given you clue.If he was a genuine guy looking for a relationship and liked you..he would have asked you out right? He may well like you,but,and there is a but..he may well also be seeing and texting quite a few women.I rather think this is the case.Do not set your heart on this man,as you could possibly be hurt.He likes keeping you around {and others] as it is a constant boost to his ego.He doesn`t want just one woman in his life,that would be boring with so many possibilities out there on the Internet.He is having fun his way,and that`s okay as long as you understand the rules.If you also want a "bit of light fun" with no strings,then fine. If you are looking for a long term commited relationship,no. And lastly, remember to think about a man`s past behaviour and enquire about it. Past behaviour is a reflection of how he will behave in the future.You won`t change him.He is already confusing you,peturbing you,and that will get worse for you,as I suspect you are not looking for the same things..I wish you all the best
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 So far so good. Everything is fine. Now don't freak out after just the second date. Don't smother him, don't press him,let things flow naturally. Don't worry if he does not text you back right away- as long as he does within a reasonable time. He can't be crazily in love with you after 2 dates- and if he were, it would not be a good sign of balance and maturity.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 I think it's moving along well. Give it some time. It seems as if each date you are getting closer. I'd maybe go out one or two more times and ask the questions. "What are you looking for?" "Are you married" you know things that are important to know. This way you can make sure you're on the same page and heading in the same direction together, so there aren't surprises that come up.
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