A
female
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anonymous
writes:Two weeks ago when my b/f and I were having a fight he bought me an ipod and gave it to me, to get himself out of the doghouse. He said it was an early Valentine's gift. He didn't wrap it, he just handed it to me after we left the store. When V-day rolled around, I got him a couple of cards, a nice vest he'd been wanting, a chocolate rose, and a big chocolate kiss and I placed them around the house so he'd find them when we woke up. He ate the chocolate and said it was yummy, he read the cards, and all he really said was "Is that really true?" and that was the extent of our Valentines day. He didn't plan to take me out. He didn't get me a card. Yes, he bought me an ipod 2 weeks ago, but it just seems like he do anything for me in a romantic way. He says he buys me stuff all year long, so one day shouldn't be such a big deal. I think he spends a good chunk of that year, trying to smooth over my feelings with gifts because he doesn't know how to treat a woman with respect. So he's always trying to make up for yelling at me, or treating me like shit because he's impatient and loses his temper so much over stupid stuff. He thinks he shouldn't have to make a fuss on V-day, that it's over-rated and I think if he wasn't acting like such an ass during the rest of the year, he might not mind doing something nice for me on Vday. Can't he see the pattern here? I never feel really special because I know the real motive behind most of his gift giving. It's an apology, not a gift from the heart. I feel so sad and very un-special. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, goodguy11  +, writes (15 February 2010):
Money doesn't buy you happiness (maybe for children but that's not the point). Point is this guy doesn't get it and he's not listening to your needs. I'm not sure why your with him if he treats you like crap and then buys you things to make up for it. I haven't heard one good thing from what you wrote. I suggest you get out of that because you deserve better. Whatever you're looking for out of a relationship this guy is definitely not going to give it to you.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 February 2010):
I'm afraid he's just not into you as much as he should be. He's trying to buy your love, not nurture what he already has. You would do better to move on now and find someone who really cares about you.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (15 February 2010):
 If everything you say in the second paragraph of your post is true, why are you with him? What is the good part of the relationship?
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