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Upset over my brother's lack of loyalty! Any advice?

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 August 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 August 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, *lskitten writes:

Family help needed pls!

My ex and i split a month ago today. Never trusted him, so didnt fall for him, was with him nearly a yr. Admittedly stayed with him towards the end because my daughter adored his daughter, same age, 10.

Anyway after i ended it, he admitted he had lied. Not cheated but lied.

Bad enough for me though considering my instincts told me he wasnt being truthful all the way through.

Anyway my bro works cash in hand for him at the moment and hasnt once asked how i am since the split, was only bothered when my ex took off to Spain to stay with his rents the next day and my bro didnt have work for 2 weeks.

Only time ive heard from my bro since is when he wanted to borrow money or use my internet. I refused.

Anyway, i have basically told my brother i feel hes used me recently, i didnt expect him to turn down 40 quid a day but i wont be used. If my ex is his mate thats fine but there can be a balance.

Anyway my bro and my ex was drinking in the pub next to my house last night, i didnt know til earler when i saw my exes van there and pieced together my mum saying they were trollied last night and didnt do any work today.

Ive had my ex on the phone tonight trying to tell me im screwed in the head. Even though he spent a yr lying to me!

Anyway, that went over my head and i told him hes insignificant to me, i didnt ever love him and i thought all this was done and dusted and why was he ringing me? He said cuz he loves me and wanted to explain.I just laughed and told him to not bother. Im not particularly interested.

That all went over my head and i ripped him to pieces to the point where he put the phone down in the end, and i just thought that was amusing at most.

Whats bothered me is my brothers loyalties. And weather anyone else thinks im being unreasonable. Its hard to explain it all in here, but ive been real good to my bro in the past and even put him up for months when he got into drugs and lost his rented house. Put up with undesirables knocking on my door that he owed money to wanting to punch his face in when my 8 year old daugher was there watching.

Am i being unreasonable? He only knew the guy a couple of months before he met me!

Honesty appreciated thank you.

C xxxxx

View related questions: drugs, money, my ex

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (6 August 2007):

hlskitten is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hlskitten agony auntCheers Donna. I guess you're right. It just riles me that he can be so stupid. And the way he treats my mum like a cash machine, knowing shes as soft as putty, is hard to watch at times.

We will see how it goes. Havent spoken to him for over a week and am not going to change that at the moment.

My mum says she thinks hes taking in whats been said and actually called her the other day just to say hi and didnt want something!!! So thats progress.

Thanks

C xxxxx

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A female reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT United Kingdom +, writes (5 August 2007):

BEEN THERE DONE IT agony auntHi there babes,

Your not being unreasonable at all but I really don't think your brother knows what he is doing to you hun, he was on drugs had a bad circle of friends you were always there for him, now he has found someone who has put trust in him and given him a job, for the first time he feels valued by someone who is not a family member do you see where I am comin from sweet....

Why don't you ask your brother round for dinner one evening tell him how much you love him and you understand how he feels but let him know how all this has been hurting you nd give him a big hug bbes, I am sure he will tell you he did not mean to hurt you in any way after all blood is thicker than water....

Hope this hs helped you darling and what a great sis you are xx

Sending ya loads of Love

Love Donna xx

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